Holding Up the River
by Sadie Dragonfire
Summary: On the shores of Destiny Islands, Sora ends his quest and finally comes home. But even as he struggles with being a normal kid again and certain budding feelings for his friends, Sora may find another journey has already begun. Future Riku/Sora/Kairi
1. Chapter 1

**Holding Up the River**

By Sadie DragonFire

**Warning: **Eventual yaoi/Boys Love, i.e. boys getting it on with other boys and liking it that way. Also, threesome.

**Pairings:** Riku/Sora/Kairi, eventually and in theory. Background implications of Roxas/Namine and past Roxas/Axel. All very mild.

**Notes:** Begins directly after the end of Kingdom Hearts II, sans the epilogue at the end of the credits.

* * *

The first day back home was both the most wonderful and the strangest.

After Sora returned Kairi's charm, she dragged him up out of the water and gave him the second-most long-awaited hug of his young life. It was even worth Goofy and Donald's embarrassing "awww"s of approval and Riku's quiet laughter.

And after that, Sora found himself staggering the last few feet out of the surf and falling on his ass in the sand, completely sopping wet and utterly exhausted. He wanted to spend the next _month_ asleep.

Riku collapsed next to him, breathing hard and bent over his wounded side. Whatever burst of strength that had allowed him to swim to shore had clearly faded. Sora leaned back until Riku's arm was pressed between his shoulder blades. He grinned.

Riku and Kairi were here. They were safe and together. He may not have the energy to stand up just then, but he felt like he could fly.

"Are you two going to be able to get home alright?" Mickey asked, leaning in carefully to look at Sora's face.

Sora waved a weary, sand coated hand. "No problem, Your Majesty," he said, "Just give us a minute and we'll be fine!"

Despite his words, he glanced over his shoulder to double-check on his friends. Kairi knelt in the sand across from Riku, a line of concern between her brows as she watched him, but she was still smiling. Sora felt his heart stutter a little, looking at her. Riku had straightened from his bent over position and didn't look pale or anything -- at least not any paler than normal. He caught Sora's eye and smiled reassuringly through a fall of silver hair.

Sora's chest felt too small to contain the swell of feeling that rose inside him. "Just fine," he said and received two nods in agreement.

Mickey pulled away. "Sora," he said, "I can't begin to thank you for what you've done for my Kingdom and for me. You too, Riku, Donald, Goofy. And Kairi did her part, as well. All of the worlds will forever be indebted to you." The King pressed his hand to his chest and bowed.

Sora's heart wrung suddenly, hearing the approaching farewell in Mickey's words. "It was nothing," he said, caught between dismay at the thought of his friends leaving and pleasure at the praise, "I mean, what else could I have done?"

"There is always a choice, Sora," Mickey said, lifting his head, "Between light and darkness, between action and inaction." He spread out each large hand, as if displaying in them the different choices, the different courses of action Sora hadn't even considered. "For someone like you, maybe there is only one path to follow. That isn't true for all of us."

Sora felt Riku become shift behind him, but there was no censor in the King's voice. He sounded fond and proud.

"So no matter what," Mickey continued, "I will always be grateful for what you have done and what you chose to do. But now, the time has come." He turned purposefully away from Sora and the others with a flick of his tail.

Goofy was the first to react. "Gwarsh, Your Majesty, it's not like we have to leave right away," he said, reaching up to scratch behind one big floppy ear. He started a little when Mickey looked at him and he added uncertainly; "Um, I mean, there's no rush is there?"

"Yeah!" Donald said, "We should have a party to celebrate everyone's safe return!" He gave Sora an affectionate swat on the shoulder.

Sora saw the King hesitate. "Well, I suppose..." he said slowly.

"You've been away from home for a long time, haven't you, Mickey?" Riku spoke up suddenly.

The cheer of victory that Sora, Donald, and Goofy had been building up to deflated just as quickly. They all looked down at the ground guiltily when the King nodded in answer to Riku's question. In his delight to be home with his friends, Sora had completely forgotten he wasn't the only one who'd been separated from loved ones because of this journey.

"Oh," Goofy said, "That's right, you must miss Queen Minnie a lot."

"Aww, it's okay," King Mickey said. He turned back to his friends and smiled, but his eyes were anxious and impatient. "We've all been through a lot. There's plenty of time for one party!"

"No, no, no," Sora said, shaking his head even though it made his ears ring, "Riku's right! You should get back home and make sure everyone else is okay first. The pathways are still open, aren't they?" Now it was time for him to feel a little worried. "I mean." He looked between Donald, Goofy, and the King. "We can all still see each other, can't we?"

"Of course!" Mickey said and his laugh came more easily this time, "As long as you have the Keyblade, there's always a way!"

"Well then, get going!" Sora's face broke out into another wide grin. His cheeks were going to fall off if he kept smiling this way.

"And then come back to see us as soon as you can," Kairi spoke up. She blushed when all attention turned her way. "I'd love to get to know you all better. Especially after you helped Sora and Riku so much."

"It would be our pleasure, Miss Kairi," Goofy said. He ambled over to kiss her hand, his giant shoes tearing up great clumps of sand as he went.

Mickey came over as well to share a few whispered words with Riku. Sora was glad for the friendship between the two of them, glad that Riku hadn't been completely alone in the Darkness.

"Aw, phooey." Donald folded his arms and scowled.

Sora bumped the duck with his elbow. "Come on, don't be like that. We'll celebrate another time." When Donald's eyelids just lowered further, Sora added; "You know, I bet Daisy will be happy to see you."

"Daisy!" Donald cried, managing to sound excited and terrified at once, "Come on, Your Majesty, lets go!" He ran to grab his King's arm and drag him away.

"W-whoa, easy Donald!"

"Goodbye, Sora," Goofy said as he followed his two friends. The palace guard sniff loudly. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Goofy," Sora said, blinking when his vision started to blur again. Jeez, he was going to run out of tears at this rate. "And you too, Donald! Take care of yourself!" he shouted.

Already half-way down the beach, Donald abruptly dropped Mickey's arm and turned to wave. Mickey took the chance to summon his own Keyblade and held it out, calling forth the column of light that would take them to the Gummi ship. He stood back as Donald and Goofy went into the light and vanished.

Looking at Mickey's Keyblade, a sudden surge of premonition twisted Sora's stomach. He scrambled to his feet, Riku making a startled noise at the unexpected motion. "Your Majesty!" Sora shouted.

Mickey paused and peered over his shoulder with one eye.

Something that Riku had said to Xemnas rolled through Sora's thoughts on repeat. _"Maybe light and darkness are eternal"._

If darkness was eternal, then...

"It's not over, is it?" Sora called.

Mickey stood still for a moment, with no change of expression. Finally, he looked away.

"Get plenty of rest and enjoy yourself," King Mickey said, his words clearly heard despite the distance and the sound of the waves. With that, he stepped into the light and both he and it vanished.

Sora plopped back onto the sand. He stared silently after his departed friends for a long while. Whatever Riku or Kairi were thinking, neither of them gave voice to it.

For Sora, it was all too easy to realize what the King hadn't said.

_Enjoy yourself...while you have the chance._

_________________

"Well, I guess that's my cue!"

"Huh?" Sora shook himself out of his reprieve. They'd been sitting in the sun long enough that his skin and much of his clothing had dried, leaving only a few uncomfortably damp spots. Sand had got up his shorts and into his shoes, a unique sensation he had almost forgotten. His eyes still felt tight and wet and his nose was stuffy. Riku had started leaning on him so heavily that his shoulder was aching with the effort of holding him up.

Sora could have happily spent the rest of his life right in that spot.

"Kairi?" he prompted, when she didn't say anything more. He lifted his arm to wipe his eyes, then thought better of it when he remembered he was still sandy and salty from his unexpected plunge into the ocean.

A giggle from in front of him. "Silly." A soft piece of cloth was pushed into his hand. "You two keep resting, I'm going to see if there's a boat we can get back to the main island with."

Sora used the handkerchief to scrub at his face. "Oh, right," he said, feeling stupid. There _was _more to this world -- to his home world -- than this one little island, after all. It was a weird thought. He was so used to thinking "my island" and seeing in his mind only this tiny place of hot sun and cool foliage and the cry of seagulls, where all his memories of Kairi and Riku were the strongest. "You sure you don't need any help?"

"I think I can handle this on my own, O' Great Keyblade Master."

"Kairi," he said, his face growing hot at her teasing.

She giggled again. "Just relax and let me take care of you for a while. I'll be right back."

Sora lowered the handkerchief and watched her run off to the dock. A sigh escaped him.

"She really does care about you, you know."

Sora jumped. "Jeez, Riku, don't do that to me! I thought you were asleep."

"I was," Riku said and shifted so that Sora was no longer bearing the brunt of his weight. "Sorry," he added, as an afterthought.

Sora shrugged and manfully restrained from rubbing his sore shoulder. "It's okay, you earned it. Feeling any better?" He wished he'd thought to beg a healing potion off of Goofy or Donald before they left.

Riku stretched and seemed to take stock of himself. "A little. I'm going to have one massive bruise, though." He lifted his shirt to exam his side, where Xemnas had struck him. Sora looked over curiously and winced at the swollen, hand-sized, red-and-purple mark staining Riku's pale skin. "Other than this, I should be fine once I get enough sleep. I hope my parents still recognize me. It'd be great to spent a night in a real bed. I haven't slept in one since -- " He broke off and took on a pensive frown.

"Well, if they don't, you can come crash at my place," Sora said, before Riku could fall back into dark memories. Actually, the idea of a sleepover appealed to him. Maybe if he begged, he could convince his parents to let Kairi stay too, and then he wouldn't have to go more than a few feet to find either of his friends. The venture didn't have a high chance of success, though. His parents had never let Kairi stay the night before this happened, it wasn't likely they were going to change their minds just because he'd been gone for ---

Sora frowned. How long has he been gone for, anyway? He'd never really gotten a good idea or straight answer of exactly how long he'd spent asleep, or even how much time he'd spent running around from world to world. Months, at the very least.

"It's going to be weird, being someone's kid again," Riku said.

Sora was kicked out of his pondering. "What do you mean?" He felt Riku shrug.

"I don't know, it's just..."

He went quiet for a long while. Sora amused himself by building a sand castle. The top of his head was getting hot from being out in the sun and he wondered idly if he was going to get a sunburn.

"I always wanted to do things on my own," Riku said at last, into the silence, "And not rely on my parents to help me. All this time, I -- I haven't even really missed them. Now I know what it's like to really be on my own, and -- "

He didn't get the chance finish. Kairi returned at a dead run. Battle-readiness made Sora's heart-rate spike and he was on his feet, Keyblade in hand, before he realized that there was nothing panicked or frightened about Kairi's manner.

"Hey guys!" she called, coming to a stumbling halt before them. Sora quickly banished the Keyblade in the hope that Kairi wouldn't comment on it. She didn't. "There weren't any boats, so I radioed the main island to come get us. I should have figured, but I thought maybe my boat might still been around from before I got kidnapped."

"Wait, there's a radio?" Sora said. That was news to him. Unless his memory really _was_ that spotty. He shot a quick glance toward Riku and thankfully, the other boy seemed as surprised as he was.

Kairi stared at him in confusion and then realization dawned. "That's right, you weren't here. Waka and Tidus got stranded out here one time when the rope on their boat snapped. Since they hadn't told anyone where they were going, they were stuck for almost two days until someone thought to check this place. After that, their parents pressured the mayor to get a radio installed." She pointed behind herself and for the first time, Sora noticed the spindly metal reception tower rising out of the old shack. "Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't put one out here sooner."

Looking at the tower gave Sora a weird feeling. He'd never considered the fact that while he was off on his adventure, ordinary life had gone on without him.

__________________

While waiting for the boat to show up, they knocked down and shared a coconut to tide them over. For the most part, they maintained an easy, contemplative mood without any talking, but occasionally, he'd catch glances from Riku and Kairi that made him feel like they were _supposed_ to be talking about something. It kept making him think of Riku's comment -- "she really does care about you" -- but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what that 'something' was. So he didn't saying anything at all.

The sun had touched the horizon by the time their ride arrived. Even from a distance, Sora recognized the fishing trawler his father worked on. A surge of excitement and anticipation had him on his feet and in the surf, frantically waving down the ship even though he'd been dead tired an hour before. It took another ten minutes for them to pull into the dock.

And then things became less wonderful and got more strange.

When they discussed it afterward, Kairi would respond to Sora's whiny discomfort with a "well, what did you expect?" To which he would pout and refuse to answer. Because the truth was, Sora had expected his return home to go exactly like the times he'd visited his friends on other worlds after being gone for a while. They'd be happy to see him and ask how he was, and then they'd all go on about their business. He'd eat his mother's homemade dinner, get a good night's sleep, and then be racing Riku down the beach the very next morning.

Instead, the people of Destiny Island treated his return like a miracle and _coddled_ him.

Within seconds of charging up the dock to greet the men and women his father had worked with since Sora was an infant, and hopefully to see his father too, Sora found himself bundled up in blanket and tucked against a bulkhead with a mug of a hot cocoa in his hand and a disgruntled Riku wedged in next to him. Kairi had somehow ended up on the other side of the ship and every time Sora tried to extract himself -- either to see her, or to stand on the brow and watch as they pulled into port -- he found himself swiftly maneuvered back into his blanket. Then came the questions. Are you cold, are you hungry, do you feel sick, where have you been, is there anything we can do to help? Once the few -- and frankly, really damn minor -- bruises and burn marks on his arms and legs from his last battle had been noticed, they all got very gentle with him. Like he was not only made of glass, but completely brainless on top of it. They kept trading meaningful, pitying looks over the top of his head.

After five minutes of this treatment, Sora was ready to jump over the side and swim to shore by himself. He bet it took Riku about two minutes to reach the same state. Honestly people, he wasn't a helpless baby!

At least the cocoa was nice. Sora's father wasn't on the ship, since he'd been on vacation this week, but they radioed the shore and Sora was able to chat with him for a few minutes.

"I'm so relieved to know you're safe," his father said and Sora's eyes had threatened to spill over again.

By comparison, the conversation between Riku and his mother was plain miserable. Riku had looked so small and stricken when the woman broke down sobbing over her "baby boy" finally coming home that Sora wanted to rip the handset away and yell at her to _stop it, _Riku couldn't handle this right now. The captain, thankfully, seemed to realize things were going downhill and cut the transmission short. Riku conjured up the hint of a smile when Sora prodded him later, but it wasn't as warm as it used to be.

Both of Riku's parents, Sora's father, and Kairi's foster family were waiting for them when they at last pulled into port. With some enthusiastic hugs and back pounding and promises that he'd get to see his mother as soon as she returned from the neighboring island in a few hours, Sora's mood improved considerably. The few glances he was able to get of Riku showed that except for looking solemn and reserved, his friend was doing alright too. Unfortunately, Sora's previous plans to set up a sleepover were quickly dashed when he found himself carted off to the local hospital. Riku was too, but then, Riku actually needed the attention. They were completely separated from Kairi in the process.

"I'll come see you tomorrow!" she called after them, waving. Sora waved back frantically until she went out of sight and tried not to feel like he was losing her all over again.

The doctor insisted on a full physical; "you've obviously been through an ordeal, young man, might as well make sure you're still in one piece" she'd said when he protested. Sora could only laugh, telling her that "an ordeal" was putting it mildly. His diagnosis was fatigue, a pulled muscle in his left shoulder, and some bruising that should clear up in a week or two. Otherwise, he was given a clean bill of health to go home.

Riku was still being examined when the doctor finished with Sora.

"Can't we stick around until he's done?" Sora asked when his father made noises about them leaving. The stood together in the small waiting room, which still smelled and felt like a hospital despite the nice pictures on the walls and the plants pushed into the corners. "I want to say goodbye and...we haven't had much time together."

"I haven't had much time with you either," his father said, "Please Sora, you can see your friends later. I want you with me to pick up your mother at the ferry. She'll be so happy."

Sora sighed. It didn't seem fair that after searching everywhere for his friends, he was separated from them almost as soon as they all got home. He wished they'd taken their time instead of contacting family right away.

He shook off the feeling.

"You're right!" he said with as much cheer as he could manage, "Let's go get mom." He turned for the exit and then just as quickly turned back, his shoes squeaking on the linoleum as he ran over to the nurse's station. "Hung on just a minute!"

It took a bit of charming to get a pen and a piece of paper from the nurse at the desk. A little more after that and with a wink, she was promising to give the resulting note to Riku as soon as he got out.

Feeling much better, Sora headed out with his father.

________________

"Sora, I - I swore to myself I wouldn't ask right away but..." His mother's voice trailed off. She fiddled with her cup and gathered her courage. "Where have you _been_?"

They all sat around the dinning table in his parent's cramped and cluttered kitchen. The sliding glass door was open, letting the evening breezes stir the worn curtains and drain off the last of the day's heat. The air smelled of seaweed, flowers, and home.

Sora covered his mouth to muffle the wholly inappropriate belch that tried to escape. He'd just finished scarfing down the dinner his mother had whipped up for them and to his delight, it was every bit as delicious as he remembered it being.

"I was traveling around other worlds, defeating the Heartless and the Nobodies," he said without hesitation, "And looking for Riku, Kairi, and the King, too. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back. A lot of people were counting on me."

His parents shared a look and Sora suddenly wondered if that'd been the best answer.

"Heartless?" his father asked in an odd tone.

"Nobodies?" his mother said, in the same voice.

Oops.

"Do you remember anything about the night I left?" Sora asked, trying to figure out a way to explain himself.

Aerith had told him once that when the worlds became connected, the inhabitants learned about each other and the Heartless. But Destiny Islands had already been destroyed by then and all the keyholes were locked before it was made whole again. Maybe no one on the islands knew anything.

"There was that terrible storm," his mother said. She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. "It couldn't have lasted more than a few minutes, but several homes were destroyed."

_The entire island was destroyed,_ Sora corrected mentally _But that's funny, everything should have gone back to the way it was. Unless the Heartless had caused that damage even before this world got scattered.  
_  
"When I couldn't find you in your room, my heart just about stopped. It was that Kairi girl who told us that you gone out to the little island right when the storm hit. She insisted that you were safe and would be back soon, but..."

Her lips compressed down into a thin line.

"We still looked everywhere," Sora's father said, taking over, "The search went on for -- for months. Kairi's always been a good girl, real trustworthy. But her story wasn't, well...there were a lot of holes."

"What did she say?"

His father rubbed the back of his head. "Well. She said you'd been sent to another world when the storm hit. There were even a few other people who had similar stories, claiming they'd been in some kind of in-between place surrounded by all different sorts of...things. Monsters and the like. Sounded pretty crazy, to tell the truth."

Sora flinched. So some of his neighbors remembered their hearts been trapped in the Darkness by Ansem - or rather, Xeonhart's Heartless? He really hoped it wasn't any of his close friends. It must have been terrifying.

"You didn't believe her or them, did you?" Sora asked. He tried to keep the accusation out of his voice, but it hurt to think of Kairi and the others suffering under everyone's doubt. Especially after what they'd been through.

Another shared look.

"It just didn't make any sense, sweetie," his mother said, "There'd been a terrible wind, the power went out, some trees came down, and then the sky was clear. It couldn't have taken more than fifteen minutes. How were we supposed to believe a handful of people insisting that they spent _weeks_ in some sort of 'other' place?"

Sora ran his hands through his hair, still damp from his recent shower. He would have to explain everything; he owed it to his parents and he owed it to everyone else who remembered and had live with doubt. But the thought of verbalizing all he'd been through made his stomach twist. The good parts, the victories large and small, the friendships made, the strange, new worlds explored; those would be a joy to tell. The bad parts... some were so private, so personal and painful, they couldn't be shared with anyone who hadn't been there. Others, he knew, were things no parent wanted to know their child had been through. How was he going to explain himself without either betraying a trust or burdening his parents even further?

Sora squeezed his eyes closed in frustration. He was too tired to think how he was going to handle all of this. Wasn't all the planning, searching, and work supposed to stop when the adventure did?

"Look, can we talk about this later?" He reached across the table to take their hands. "I just want to enjoy being with my family."

Much to his relief, the subject was changed and the rest of the evening was spent in a haze of good company.

______________

Sora wasn't sure what time it was when his yawns finally got him sent to bed. He did know that he spent the next fourteen hours out like a light. Afternoon sunlight was pouring in through his window before he reluctantly dragged himself back to the world of the living.

He untangled himself from his bedsheets and sat up, rubbing his eyes. It was a little eerie looking around his bedroom.

While he was gone, his parents had boxed up all his belonging and stacked them against the walls. Some of the boxes bore daunting notes on them like "charity donations" and "yard sale". Only the bed and a few knickknacks had been left in place. He'd tried to tease his mother about it as she helped him find where his pajamas had been stashed, but she'd gotten so uncomfortable and evasive that he left it alone.

"They probably forgot about me when everyone else did," he said aloud to the nearly empty room. A bittersweet smile curved his mouth. "At least they didn't spend all that time worrying."

The screech of seagulls flying past his window reminded him that his day was wasting.

He slapped himself on the cheeks and bounced to his feet. "Okay! First - clothes! Second - food! And then off to see Riku and Kairi!"

It didn't go quite as planned.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay close to home today?" had been his mother's plaintive plea while he was polishing off a late breakfast.

"Son, we've been worried sick, stick around for a while," had been his father's gruff reprimand.

"Riku's parents missed him too, you know, we should leave them alone to get reacquainted," had been his mother's excuse when Sora suggested a big get-together between the two families. He knew seconds after bringing up Kairi that he wasn't going to make any headway on that subject either.

And that was the end of that.

"It's a pain having a barrier you can't bludgeon your way through, isn't it Sora?" Riku said dryly over the phone a few hours later.

Sora rolled over onto his stomach with a groan. "Shut up, Riku, they're my parents."

He was sprawled out on his bed, phone cradled between his shoulder and his ear. It had taken a family board game and a movie to earn himself some time alone. He was starting to get the uncomfortable suspicion that they didn't trust him. Or at least, didn't trust him not to run off again.

Which was actually pretty astute of them, all things considered.

"I know. That only makes it worse," Riku said, "Because you know you owe it to them to listen."

"Yeah," Sora said with a sigh. He stared at an open box with clothes spilling over the side. Few of his old clothes still fit him. He'd been forced to wear a pair of his father's shorts while the outfit the three Fairies had made for him was being washed. He felt strangely exposed without the magically reinforced fabric to protect him. "How are you holding up?"

There was a pause before Riku answered. "I'm fine."

Sora held the phone away from his ear and scowled at it. Oh yeah, sure, he bought _that_.

"My parents don't remember the world falling apart," Riku said, his voice tiny over the speaker. Sora tucked the phone back between his head and his shoulder.

"Mine either! In fact -- "

He reiterated the conversation from the night before. Riku remained silent until Sora finished.

"Huh. That explains why Kairi came by to see me instead of you this morning."

"_What?!_"

"Ow, my ear."

"You hung out with her? That's not fair!" Sora cried. He lurched up into a sitting position. "I haven't even gotten to talk to her today!"

"She and her father dropped by a little after ten," Riku said. His voice became smug. "She brought me cookies."

Sora let out a moan of despair. He'd missed out on visiting with Kairi and eating tasty cookies? The universe officially sucked.

Riku just laughed. It was such a welcome sound that Sora generously decided to forgive Riku for finding his misery funny. "Don't get all worked up, I saved half of them for you. And use your head. If your parents didn't believe Kairi when she told them what happened to you -- "

"They probably don't want her coming around to see me," Sora finished, his mouth pulling into a grim line. "Something about this doesn't seem right. Why would some people remember, but not everyone?"

"I don't know. Maybe their hearts were stronger."

"Could be," Sora said, "It had to have been terrible, but I almost wish my parents did remember or at least believed. It'd make all of this much easier."

"I suppose." Though the phone, he heard the distant sound of Riku's name being called. "I gotta go," Riku said, "More guests coming over." The discomfort Sora had picked up earlier in Riku's voice started to bleed back in.

Sora took a breath.

"I'm _fine_," his friend repeated, clearly sensing the question Sora had been about to ask, "It's just a little overwhelming. Give Kairi a call as soon as you can."

"I don't need you to tell me that!"

________________

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Holding Up the River  
**Part:** 2  
**Pairings:** Riku/Sora/Kairi, eventually and in theory. Background implications of Roxas/Namine and past Roxas/Axel. Sora and Kairi acting like bestest girlfriends forever because they are.  
**Warning:** Boys Love, over all lameness.  
**Notes:** Begins directly after the end of Kingdom Hearts II, sans the epilogue at the end of the credits.

**Disclaimer:** Kingdom Hearts and all associated names and images are the property of Disney and Square Enix. This fanfic is for entertainment purposes only and maybe not even that.

_____________________

All good intentions aside, it wasn't until after dinner and leaving two messages with her father's secretary that Sora finally managed to get Kairi on the phone. He felt silly not being able to contact a friend that lived only three blocks away when he'd been hopping between dimensions just the other day.

"Sorry," Kairi said, sounding breathless and a little distracted, "We've had a ton of visitors and I was just walking the last few home. I'm surprised you haven't been mobbed too."

"I guess my parents asked everyone to give us some space?" Sora offered uncertainly. Some people had dropped by with food, only to be turned aside with a brief "thank you".

"Hey, do you think you could sneak out for a minute? Even just outside your window."

"Hang on," Sora said. He set the phone down on his pillow and crept out of his room into the hall. His father had gone to bed a while ago, but his mother was still listening to the radio by the sound of it. A peek into the living room showed her fast asleep in the armchair, a newspaper spread out across her lap and a news program droning on in the background. Sora smiled and tip-toed back to his room. "Yep, the coast is clear!"

"Great! I'll be right over."

Soon enough, they were standing together in the shadow of Sora's house, quickly exchanging the news of their day. Sora's yard, like many of the yards in the area, was an abundance of flowering bushes and spiny-leafed succulents. Sora's was wilder and more unkempt than most; the two of them stood almost knee-deep in half-dead plant life. His family had never had much of a green thumb, but it didn't used to be this bad.

"It's strange how happy every one is to have me back. But my poor father," Kairi said. Her eyes were shadowed, belying her light tone. "He won't say it outright, but I think he was afraid that he had driven me to running away." Seeing the question in Sora's face, she elaborated. "Axel kidnapped me a few months after everyone had remembered you again and... the community was still in a bit of an uproar."

"How come?" Sora asked, "I'd already been gone for -- how long was I gone for, anyway?" The weather beaten shingles on the side of the house tore a little when he braced his shoulder against them, showering him with splinters. He brushed his shirt off distractedly.

"You mean from the time the Islands were restored?" She fiddled with the edge of her open-fronted sweater, her forehead creased with -- thought? Worry? Guilt? He couldn't tell. "Almost two years, I think. It was about a year that we had no memories of you."

"...oh." Well. That explained why he'd grown so much during that long sleep. "Wow. Two years."

"Give or take a few months. It doesn't seem real, does it?"

"Not really." He looked down at his hands and picked at a hangnail. They were calloused from wielding the Keyblade and streaked with little white scars across the knuckles and fingers. Small wounds from blades and claws and flying shrapnel he hadn't been quick enough to dodge.

Two years. A entire year spent asleep. Once again, he prodded at the memory of what had happened before he woke up in that mansion in Twilight Town, and once again, he couldn't make sense of it. He knew he'd lost his memories and regaining them required a long sleep -- and, apparently, being reunited with his Nobody, something he was putting off thinking about too deeply -- but how had he forgotten? Did everyone else forget because he did, or did he forget because they had?

"Okay, so, a year," he said, trying to get used to the sound of it, "That's kind of late for everyone to be getting all riled up."

Kairi tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and hummed thoughtfully.

"It was only a month or so between the Islands being restored and the memories of you starting to fade," she said, "There wasn't enough time for all the questions about your disappearance to be asked or for the rumors and doubt to die out. With Riku, it took six months of searching before everyone decided there was nothing more they could do but wait and hope. With you, most of the police reports hadn't even been finished! So, here was everyone remembering that funny, friendly Sora from down the street had been missing for over a year, only to discover that nothing had been done about it. No one understood how that was possible. There were a lot of accusations. Like before, everyone was convinced that I was hiding the truth of what really went on and it got... it got uncomfortable at times."

She kicked idly at the ground with the toe of her boot, not meeting Sora's eyes. "Since he's the mayor, most of the accusations came down on my father. He didn't mean to, but it made him a little short with me, especially since he didn't really believe my story. When I vanished, he had to have blamed himself for not defending me enough."

Sora's earlier affront that anyone would treat Kairi like that bubbled to the surface again. He started to say something, but Kairi cut him off defensively.

"He did try!" she insisted, "When the sheriff interviewed me, it wasn't suppose to go beyond yours and Riku's families. But... it's so hard to keep secrets around here."

Silence followed. Sora's anger deflated and his heart twisted, remembering how he'd been so relieved to know she was home safe while he tracked down Riku. He hadn't ever considered that his and Riku's disappearance would get her, the last person to see them alive, in trouble.

"Jeez, Kairi," he said quietly, "You shouldn't have had to go through that. I'm sorry."

He took hold of her hand, lacing their fingers together like he did when they were younger and he would drag her around the island to see his latest awesome discovery. She smiled at him through her bangs.

"Don't be," she said, "It's not your fault and it wasn't really theirs, either. It's just what happens when people are worried and scared." She tugged at their joined hands. "Besides, you went through a lot worse."

The concern in her voice made Sora feel giddy and embarrassed all at once. He let go of her hand to scratch the back of his head.

"Nothing I couldn't handle!" he said boisterously. Eventually. And with the help of Goofy, Donald, and a ton of potions and Cure spells. In fact, there'd been a few battles he'd staggered away from with the entirely startled thought of "I made it? I'm alive?"

Kairi shook her head slightly, a hint of a laugh lingering around the edges of her smile. Their gazes met and Sora realized that he'd forgotten, even since yesterday it seemed, how blue her eyes were. He got that feeling again, the sense that there was something he was supposed to say, something they were supposed to talk about, but the words were all locked up tight in his chest.

His cheeks felt hot and he was dead certain he was going to horribly embarrass himself any second now. Luckily for him, his brain helpfully decided to kick in.

"O-oh, I, um, I almost forgot," he said. Kairi perked up and that somehow made his cheeks become warmer. "My parents said there were others who remembered being in the Darkness. I mean, they didn't say it like _that_," he found himself starting to babble when disappointment flickered across Kairi's face, "They just said there were other people who talked about being in some kind of dark place with monsters and stuff, and I bet anything those were Heartless. Riku said maybe their hearts were stronger and I was wondering if you knew --"

"Who they were?" Kairi interrupted, her head titling to the side curiously.

He relaxed and nodded, strangely glad that she didn't sound upset over the subject change. Her easy going acceptance made his conversation with Riku earlier seem...off. It hadn't been anything Riku said, exactly, more like the way he said it. Like he didn't want to talk about it, but was forcing himself to anyway.

Kairi started talking again, drawing Sora out of his thoughts.

"Actually, I'm glad you brought it up," she said, "I do know about two of them, because their stories ended up in the paper. There are some rumors of others, too. But that's not what I want to tell you." Her voice dropped lower, even though there was no one around to hear them. "He's never said anything and I can't confirm it but... Sora, I think Tidus remembers being in the Darkness."

"_Tidus_?"

Down the street, a dog barked, making them both jump. Sora had his hand out, fingers starting to curl as if around the Keyblade's hilt, before his brain registered the source of the sound. He took in a breath to calm his racing heart and let his hand drop, empty, back to his side. It was fine. There weren't any Heartless or Nobodies here.

Kairi was looking off in the direction of the bark. She'd stepped back in surprise at the noise, out of the shadow of the house, and the silvery moonlight turned her auburn hair almost blonde.

"Kairi," he said, to get her attention, "What makes you think that?"

"I - I'm not sure if I can put it into words," she said. She continued to stare down the street. "And it's been a while since I've seen Tidus, so maybe he's different now."

"Buuut... " Sora drawled when Kairi fell silent. He planted his fists on his hips and leaned forward to stare at her pointedly out of one eye. "Hmmm?"

She giggled. "Okay, okay," she said and became serious again, "It was like when Riku changed, before everything happened. I mean, Tidus still acted like himself. He still hung out with Wakka and Selphie and played sports. There was just... something more to him. Something in his eyes that hadn't been there before. I think he even tried to talk to me about it once, but Wakka interrupted and he never tried again."

'Like when Riku changed.' A chill of warning prickled up Sora's spine and he pulled away from Kairi.

He had never noticed a change in Riku the way Kairi had. Riku was Riku; cocky, confident, good at everything he tried, always ready for an adventure, always there when they needed him. It hadn't fully registered to Sora that his best friend wasn't the same anymore until that terrible moment on Captain Hook's ship, when Riku gave his familiar "I won" smirk as he talked coldly about the Heartless answering to _him_ now.

What had happened to Tidus to cause him to change, too?

"Think we should ask him about it?" Sora said.

"I think we should try," Kairi said, "I want to at least let him know that he isn't alone. He's probably really afraid of being made fun of like the two people in the newspaper were."

'Tidus' and 'afraid' didn't normally go together in the same sentence. The brash, athletic teenager had always flung himself laughing -- and yelling, and boasting, and probably making some reference to blitzball -- into whatever danger or challenge came his way, and damn what anyone else thought of it. Of course, 'Riku' and 'wants to be like Sora' didn't used to go together in the same sentence, either.

Sora felt the ridiculous urge to sulk. Man, why couldn't everyone just stay the same? Destiny Islands was supposed to remain stable, safe, and familiar forever -- only the rest of the worlds were allowed to turn on their heads!

"I should get back home," Kairi said, while Sora was still bemoaning the injustice of the universe, "Before my father can start worrying again. I just wanted to make sure I got to see you."

That she'd gone out of her way to see him gave Sora a warm glow of contentment and made up for not getting to enjoy cookies with her earlier.

"I'm glad you did," he said, completely unaware of the goofy grin spreading across his face.

"We'll talk more later," Kairi promised. She hesitated and then darted forward to wrap her arms around his narrow shoulders in a quick hug. Her hair smelled of coconut. "See you tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow," he agreed. He waved her off as she ran down the street and disappeared over the rise.

He went to bed that night still grinning.

__________

Arms spread for balance, Sora carefully put one foot in front of the other along the narrow ledge of stone. On one side, a huge clock ticked away the hours, the position of its hands insisting it was ten in the morning despite the muted sunlight. On the other side was a several story drop to the cobblestones below. It would take only one misplaced step and down he'd go. Splat. No more Sora.

He wasn't afraid. If anything, the rush of the wind around his ears and the sense of being suspended over nothingness was invigorating. The hint of danger only made it more so.

He laughed and spun around, so that he faced out over the tight cluster of buildings. On the distant horizon, the perpetually setting sun wallowed in a bank of wispy clouds, casting the town in the golden half-light that was it's namesake.

"Would you like one?"

Sora glanced down.

A blond boy sat on the ledge next to him, his feet dangling over the side and a blue ice cream popsicle held out to Sora. His heavy, Organization XIII robe was open down the front, showing the baggy pants and high-collared, zippered jackets he wore underneath. In his other hand, he held a picture that Sora faintly recognized.

Roxas wiggled the popsicle invitingly when Sora didn't respond. "It's gonna melt soon if you don't decide."

"Oh! Uh, sure, thanks," Sora said. He lowered himself onto the ledge before accepting the treat, his fingers brushing Roxas's as it was passed over. "Where did you get it?"

Sora bit into the ice cream, tearing off a chunk. Sweet, salty, creamy. It filled him with a sharp, sudden longing.

"Same place I got all of this, I guess," Roxas said, making a sweeping gesture to indicate the whole of Twilight Town, "I remembered and here it was."

"Really?" Sora responded around his icy mouthful, "Man, I wish I could get ice cream just by thinking about it."

Roxas laughed, sounding surprised. Sora, though, winced, pressing his hand against the painful sting in his chest.

"Well, I suppose that's something," Roxas said, smiling, "No more paying for ice cream when I want it."

He shook his head and released the picture he'd been holding, letting it drift away into a white spec in the distance. Sora saw a brief flash of the image before it vanished; two boys and a girl posing together in front of an old, rusted gate. Hayner, Pence, and Olette. He'd seen that picture before, but there was something missing from it that he couldn't remember.

"...Sorry," Sora said, belatedly recalling what, exactly, Roxas was.

Roxas shook his head again. "Don't be sorry for me. I'm whole, I didn't fade away. And look."

Distracted from what he'd been about to say, Sora followed the direction of Roxas' pointed finger.

On the ground below, in the circular courtyard leading into the train station, a figure in red and black twisted and spun in a deadly dance against an invisible opponent. Flames accompanied him, echoing his movement like vibrant shadows. It was energetic and wild; accentuating his long, slender limbs, sleek hips, and vivid red hair. Watching the performance gave Sora a strange mix of feelings. Affection. Sadness. A discomforting heat that settled low in his stomach.

Sora swallowed and shifted. "Axel?" he asked.

"Hmm," Roxas said. He leaned forward to get a better look, bracing his arms on his thighs. He didn't grin like Sora might've; his smile was mild, a bare lifting of pale lips, but it carried the same meaning of warmth and happiness. "It's funny. I have a lot of memories of him fighting. I never realized I spent so much time just watching him when we went on missions together."

A rush of wind fanned the flames around Axel higher. They chewed their way up the side of the clock tower and then retreated, leaving no mark behind. In response to the heat, Sora's ice cream fell off its stick, dissolving into nothingness mid-air. He yelped and put out his hand to catch it, but it was too late. He only succeeded in getting a few drops on his fingers.

"Axel was a real pain," Sora said, in the middle of sucking his fingers clean, "Kidnapping Kairi like he did. But in the end... in the end, he was a good person."

Roxas turned his head to look at Sora intently.

"He wasn't," Roxas said. He continued when Sora started to protest. "He wasn't a good person, or even a person. Nobodies aren't anything."

"Hey! He was your _friend_!"

Roxas waved off the distinction as if it didn't matter, but Sora's stomach twisted all the same. "That doesn't have anything to do with it. He didn't have a heart, so nothing he felt or thought he felt was real."

Sora lunged to his feet, furious. After what Axel had done for them -- !

Roxas' eyes widened, his voice taking on an edge of desperation. "No, don't -- "

It was too late. As if Sora's remembrance was all it needed, the memory-Axel below let out a shout and released a devastating barrage of flames. Except there were no Dusks to kill this time and the flames burned out harmlessly, filling the air with a hazy grey miasma of smoke. Axel himself collapsed and dissolved into nothingness as easily as Sora's ice cream had.

Roxas closed his eyes.

Sora's anger drifted away, leaving behind a hollowness in his chest, the lingering ache of loss. He stared down at the now empty courtyard and took a deep breath. The world breathed with him, a pulse of wind between the buildings. The faded orange sun of Twilight Town began a reverse climb in the sky, turning the searing yellow that burned the blue skies of Sora's islands.

"You know," Sora said, his voice soft, "What he did... sacrificing himself for us...there are some people _with _hearts that would never do something that. So even if he didn't really have a heart, even if all his feelings were just make believe..."

Sora squatted down to be closer to Roxas. His other self was watching him again, his blue eyes a mirror that reflected the increasing light. Sora could feel his need for an answer echoing through their shared heart.

"Then what he _did_ have was something better. The same for you."

On the edges of the world, the vivid green farmland gave way to shimmering azure waves and Roxas' face broke out into a grin. "See?" he said, "I told him you'd figure it out."

And while Sora was still trying to decipher what that meant, Roxas grabbed his arm and shoved him off the tower.

______________________________________

"Aaaaahhh!" Sora came flailing up out of the tangled bedsheets, dead certain he was seconds away from being smeared across the pavement.

"Aah! Sora!" His mother stood frozen next to his bed, his clothes from the previous day clutched to her chest. Her eyes were comically wide. "What's wrong?!"

"Mom," he gasped. For a wild moment, he wondered how the hell she ended up in Twilight Town. His mouth still tasted of sugar and salt, and he could still hear the rush of the wind. Then his brain fully registered his surroundings. He was on Destiny Islands, in his bedroom with the partially unpacked boxes stacked against the walls and the smell of seaweed and flowers drifting in through the open window. It was a dream. He hadn't really been whisked away to another world for a talk with ---

Roxas. His Nobody. What was that all about? He swore every encounter with his other half just got more baffling.

"Sweetie?" His mother continued to frozen stand in the middle of his room, tense creases at the corners of her eyes and mouth as she watched him. He'd seen enough apprehension and grief in his travels to recognize it in her face, but he didn't understand why. What was she grieving for?

And when had she started looking so old?

"Sorry!" he said, forcing out a laugh and rubbing the back of his neck. The terrifying sensation of plummeting to his death aside, there was no reason for him to wake up screaming like a girl. He should be used to mind-wrenching visions by now. "I'm fine! It was just a dream."

This only served to make the lines in her face deeper.

"Sweetie," she said again, much softer this time.

She loosened her clutch on his clothes and walked over to his bed. He helpfully scooted back against back against the headboard so she had room to sit down. She rested her small hand on his pulled up knee, the contact warm through the thin material of his sheet. She took a deep breath, seeming to brace herself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

Sora considered the possibility. He wasn't very fond of talking about his dreams in general and the ones that were tied up with his destiny as the Chosen Wielder of the Keyblade in particular. Granted, most of that had to do with his tendency to slip off into visions while wide awake and in the middle of conversations. People -- i.e., usually Donald -- looked at him like he was a loon even without him describing what he'd seen; he didn't need to open his mouth and confirm the impression. Still, the idea of having input on the matter from someone he trusted was appealing.

As soon as he opened his mouth to explain though, he realized that it wasn't going to work out. She didn't know enough to be able to offer much insight and it would take hours to cover everything. Besides, telling the whole story was one aspect of his return he was still putting off.

"Nah," he said, "I don't think you'd be able to understand."

Her mouth twitched up in what tried and failed to be a smile.

"I could try," his mother said hopefully, "Does it... does it have anything to do with what happened while you were gone?"

"Yeees and no," Sora said. The part of his journey that he understood the least about, anyway. "I mean, it was just confusing. I don't know how I could explain it."

His mother's hand dropped from his knee and went to pick at the rivets on the tan shorts she was holding instead.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you," she said, not looking up, "Do you remember Dr. Gurtz?"

On an island populated primarily by fishermen, shop owners, and teachers -- and the last two composed mostly of _retired_ fishermen -- Dr. Gurtz served a unique capacity. He was the person who came around for a chat when something bad had happened. When a storm capsized a fishing trawler and several of the kids in Sora's elementary class lost family members, Gurtz showed up at the school with a soft voice and pockets full of butterscotch candy to talk about death. When there'd been that court case on the industrial island a few years back, Gurtz had been there to talk about what to do about strangers that made you feel uncomfortable. Tidus had even had to visit him in his little office next to the open-air fruit market for several months after his father died.

Dr. Gurtz was a strange person for his mother to bring up.

Sora folded his arms around his legs and rested his chin on his knees. "Yeah, what about him?"

"Well, I thought that, maybe, you should go see him," she said. She made a throw away gesture, like it was just a casual suggestion, but her shoulders were stiff. "You know, you might feel more comfortable telling him what happened than telling your father and I."

The idea that he'd be more comfortable talking to a complete stranger about his adventures than his parents made Sora laugh. At the look on her face, he covered his mouth to stem his chuckles. His mother was completely serious. It occurred to him that this was a really big deal to her.

"Sweetie, I know it must be hard to talk about," she said earnestly, "But you need to talk to someone. Especially if it's giving you nightmares."

"Whoa, whoa," he said, holding out his hands to forestall that line of thinking, "First!" He held up one finger. "I _wasn't_ having a nightmare. It was only a weird dream -- "

"You woke up screaming, baby."

He really wished she wouldn't use that careful tone with him. It made him feel like -- like a kid. And it had been ages since anyone had talked to him like he was a kid.

" -- because I got pushed off a tower at the end, but it was totally non-scary beyond that. Second!" He held up another finger and hesitated. Okay, so maybe he was uncomfortable talking about this part with her, but not for the reasons she seemed to be thinking. "Like I told you before, I was traveling around to different worlds and saving them. I know that doesn't make any sense yet, but could you just trust me for now?"

His mother sighed and looked pained.

"It's not that I don't trust you," she said, making it perfectly clear that it was, "But all the top scientists are certain there is nothing out there. Dozens of sailing expeditions have tried to prove otherwise and all of them just end up right back here."

Sora was reminded of his, Riku, and Kairi's conviction that they could reach other worlds just by setting out on the ocean. Of course, why would they think differently? The five landmasses and variety of islets, atolls, and barrier reefs that made up Destiny Islands were all accessible by water, so it only made sense that they thought they could reach the rest of the universe the same way. They hadn't known to look up at the stars.

"It's all just legends, sweetie," his mother continued, "I mean, how did you know it was another world?" Her voice became that much gentler, like she was going to tell him that Santa wasn't real. (A falsehood he _so_ needed to remember to rub Riku's face later.) "Maybe whoever told you that was lying."

"Aargh, _mom_." Frustration and annoyance churned in Sora's stomach. He raked both hands through his hair, yanking out several strands in the process when his fingers got caught on knots. What did she think? That someone had hid him away in the Haunted House on the big shopping island and convinced him it was Halloween Town?

He wished suddenly that Jiminy had left a copy of his journal behind. The only physical proof he had of his quest -- until the King or Donald and Goofy came back with the gummi ship, that is -- was the Keyblade and a collection of odds and ends. The charms that clipped to his Keyblade, the munny pouch with the blue crystal, the photograph of Roxas and them from Twilight Town, his now out-dated Hallow Bastion Restoration Committee Membership card, his magic resistant jewelry, and a few crystal and metal shards he'd forgotten to either give to a Moogle or stash in the gummi ship's storage units. Those would have to do.

"Look," Sora said, lifting his head and managing a cheery smile, "Lets get dad and I'll show you both, okay?" He'd put it off long enough.

________________________

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Holding Up the River  
**Part:** 3  
**Pairings:** Riku/Sora/Kairi, eventually and in theory. Background implications of Roxas/Namine and past Roxas/Axel. Sora and Kairi acting like bestest girlfriends forever because they are.  
**Warning:** Boys Love, het, threesome, family issues, developing plot  
**Notes:** Begins directly after the end of Kingdom Hearts II, sans the epilogue at the end of the credits.

**Disclaimer:** Kingdom Hearts and all associated names and images are the property of Disney and Square Enix. This fanfic is for entertainment purposes only.

__________

His mother accepted the offer with an odd mingle of relief and trepidation, and suggested Sora get dressed while she checked to see if his father was done making breakfast.

After she left, Sora leaned back against the headboard and really, seriously, missed Donald and Goofy. He missed their cheery attitudes and unwavering support. He missed Goofy's helpful advice and goodhearted nature, and he even missed Donald's explosive temper. More than anything right now, he missed Donald's magic; that particular "don't mind me, I belong here" spell that helped them to blend into any world. It would've made dealing with his parents questions so much easier.

The thought that he needed a spell to talk with his family only served to depress him more.

This was silly. He just wasn't giving them enough credit! Sure, it hurt that they didn't take him at his word, but surely once he presented actual evidence, scanty or otherwise, they would be more accepting.

He untwisted the sheet from around his legs and reached for his recently washed clothing. He was stuck with his outfit from the Three Good Faeries until they could go shopping for new stuff that fit, but Sora hardly minded. After nearly a year in the same outfit, he felt more naked without it than bored by wearing it all the time. It wasn't like he'd had a huge selection of clothes to begin with.

He donned everything but his shoes and hooded jacket, and padded barefoot to his dresser. His crystals, keychains, and other items rattled against the sides when he yanked open the top drawer. On top of the mess sat the Twilight Town picture. Sora picked it up carefully by the corner to avoid getting finger prints on the glossy surface and held it up to the light --

_--where his face had once grinned next to Hayner's was an empty space, as if he'd never really existed to begin with--_

Sora blinked. He turned the picture side to side, but it wasn't any different than it had been when he first put it away. Roxas, Hayner, Olette, and Pence were posed together in front of the large gate that lead to the Haunted Mansion. There was a giant lock on the gate that hadn't been there when Sora was around, but maybe that was a variation of the copy-Twilight Town. The group looked like they had been having a good time.

Sora didn't know much about his Nobody, despite having talked to him more than once now, only bits and pieces gleaned from others. He knew Roxas had worked with the Organization for a while; followed their goals, probably even did some terrible things in their name. But there was no doubt for Sora that the boy smiling in this picture loved his friends.

That was what mattered the most in the end, wasn't it?

He slid the picture into one of his pouches and shoved most everything else into the other pouch. He had no idea whether or not a chaos anklet was really going to help his case, but it was worth a shot. Newly stocked, he headed out into the rest of the house to face his fate.

His fate greeted him grimly with grilled fish and pickled vegetables.

"We can eat while you talk," his father said, stabbing meaningfully at Sora's table setting with his spatula. He was scowling a little, but Sora could tell it wasn't directed at him. He wondered if his father was as desperate to hear about his adventures as his mother seemed to be.

"As long as we're not talking with our mouths full," his mother said prudently. She already sat in her seat, cutting the grilled piece of fish into bite-sized pieces. Fish was one of the few dishes Sora's father could make with any sort of skill.

The man himself grunted. "Sora," he said, "Your friends Wakka and Tidus stopped by about an hour ago, hoping to see you. I told them they could come back this evening and we'd have a little party. How's that sound?"

"Th-that sounds great!" Sora said. His thought process completely derailed and his carefully planned speech went up in smoke. "I can invite Riku and Kairi over too, right?"

There was only a moment of hesitation before his father shrugged. "Sure, might as well. You deserve to have some fun with your friends."

"Great, I can't wait!" Sora bounced in place with excitement. This would be perfect! He could make sure that Riku was doing all right fitting back in with his family, spend time with Kairi, and even get reacquainted with his old friends. Maybe he could talk to Tidus alone for a while, too.

"Sora, come sit down and talk with us," his mother said. She pushed back the chair next to her and patted the seat invitingly. "I'll wash those dishes later, Retsu," she added, when Sora's father started scrubbing up the pots and pans from breakfast.

Sora's father obligingly left the mess behind, slipped his apron off over his head, and went to join his wife at the table.

"Just a minute," Sora said in response to the invitation to sit down, "I think this part is better to show you while I'm standing up."

He waited until his father was seated and they were both looking at him expectantly -- his father with a doubtful frown, his mother with concern -- before holding out his hand.

In the presence of Keyholes, Heartless, or even the potential for danger, the Keyblade sprung naturally to Sora's hand, often even without his noticing. When he was outside of the heart-pounding rush of battle, it took a moment of concentration to call the weapon. He half closed his eyes, breathed in, and in the time it took him to exhale, the familiar flash of heat burned his palm and his fingers clenched convulsively around a smooth hilt.

The last keychain he'd used in battle was Fenrir, the wolf's head shaped talisman that Tifa had given him in thanks for helping Cloud. Of all the charms he used to change the abilities and appearance of his weapon, Fenrir was the only one that made it look somewhat more a like blade than a key. Its stone-gray length was serrated along the edges and marked with deep groves down the middle. Tattered, stained badges wrapped around the base of the blade, just above the square cross guard. It looked like something you hurt people with and was especially out of place in the bright colors of his parents kitchen.

"This," Sora said, "Is a Keyblade."

His mother jumped a little and made a faint cry of surprise when the Keyblade appeared. His father sat straighter, his mouth falling open.

"How the fuck --" he started to say.

"Language," Sora's mother interjected. It was her usual reprimand, but she didn't say it with her usual exasperated fondness for her husband's sailor vocabulary. She sounded shell-shocked.

"Listen, if my kid is pulling swords out of thin air, I think I've got a right to -- "

"Whoa, hang on!" Sora stepped forward and made placating motions with his free hand. His parents rarely fought, but they could needle each other to death if given the chance. (Besides, he figured the 'don't swear in front of Sora' argument had become moot after all the time he spent around Cid.) "Let me finish, all right? I swear I'll answer all your questions afterward."

His parents glanced at each and then settled down, returning their attention to Sora. They didn't look doubtful any more, which he supposed was a good thing. But they were uneasy.

His father reached across the table and took hold of his mother's hand. It was a small gesture that only highlighted the slight tremor in her fingers. Standing across the room from them, their cautious gazes settled on him, Sora felt like a stranger that had barged in unexpectedly.

"Okay," Sora said with as much resolve as he could muster. He pushed aside his negative thoughts forcefully. They wouldn't do any good; he had to finish what he started and he had to trust. "That big storm from the night I disappeared? That was from the Heartless invading our world. The Heartless are hearts that were corrupted by the Darkness inside them and, you know, went bad. Each world has a door that keeps out the Heartless and keeps it separate from other worlds. That's why we can't reach any other worlds from Destiny Islands. We're not even supposed to know they exist." A belated realization came to Sora and he laughed awkwardly. "I mean, technically I'm not even supposed to be telling you all of this, 'cause it's considered meddling."

That was the wrong thing to say. He could see his mother's expression close up even more.

Sora rubbed under his nose. "B-but anyway," he said, "The door protecting Destiny Islands was opened. The Heartless came through and devoured everything, including the heart of our world --- "

________

It went on lot longer than Sora expected. Mid-way through the first half of his story, his mother made him sit down and swallow down some of his now-cold breakfast. It ended up being the most any of them ate.

There was a lot that Sora was good at, but story-telling just wasn't on the list. He told events out of order or rambled on about unimportant details until his father prodded him to "speed it up a little, boy". On certain touchy subjects, usually having to do with Riku, he stumbled over his words as he tried to avoid going too deep into them. As proud as he was of his best friend for fighting his way out of the Darkness, it wasn't Sora's story to tell. Besides, he really doubted his parents would understand and the last thing he wanted was them unfairly judging Riku.

Of course, deceit was not in Sora nature. So him leaving out or talking around most of Riku's Darkness inspired activities, as well as a few other details he wasn't comfortable imparting, meant several suspiciously gaping holes in his narrative. In this, the ass-backward style of his re-telling actually helped him, as his parents seemed too overwhelmed and distracted by what he was saying to catch on to what he wasn't. A small mercy.

Not all of the sidetracking was entirely Sora's fault. Despite Sora's request to wait until the end to ask questions, his father rained them down on him almost from the beginning.

"Those -- what'cha call it again, gummi? -- ships could really fly? How?"

"But why couldn't that Leon person take over defeating this Maleficent? It wasn't like he didn't have more experience with her than you."

"What's with all those big shot leaders taking the word of a fourteen-year-old? No offense, Sora."

"How do you just sleep for a year?"

"...we have a King?"

"You turned into a _what_?"

Sora found himself saying "I don't know" a lot more than he was comfortable with. Boy, did he regret not finishing Ansem's (the real one) secret reports like he'd planned too.

As tough as his father's questions were, Sora's mother's withdrawn silence was worse. She would start to open up; her eyes would widen, her lips would part, and he could see a glimmer of acceptance, of wonder in her face. Then it would be gone and she would shut down just as quickly. Her expression would fall like the dropping of a shutter and she'd shake her head slightly, as if in denial. It wasn't like she couldn't believe. It was like she wouldn't let herself.

Sora watched her closer than he did his father. Whenever she gave that tiny head shake, his heart sank lower in his chest. No amount of Keyblade summoning or membership cards or alien pieces of jewelry was making it stop.

"Because the Keyblade was the only way to win and it only answered to me, that's why," Sora said in response to his father's most recent question. He'd lost track of how many times he'd repeated this during their conversation. "And don't talk bad about King Mickey, okay? He helped me a lot."

"I'm not trying to be mean, Sora, especially not about your friends," his father said, fiddling with an Aegris chain. A pensive frown deepened the groves in his weather-worn skin. "It's just that putting a child into that kind of danger isn't what responsible adults do. I'm sure you feel all grown up -- I know I did, at your age -- but you're only fifteen. I can't say I think much of this King or any of those others who let you run off on your own."

"I know King Mickey would've given the mission to someone else if he could have," Sora said, defensively, "He couldn't, because the Keyblade chose me. I had to fight." Remembering what the King had said to him on the beach, only a few days ago, Sora added, "It wasn't easy and even though I just wanted to go home, I wanted to protect everyone, too. I couldn't have stood by and done nothing when I had the power to help!"

His father's scowl of stubborn refusal eased a little, showing a quick flicker of another emotion. Sora had seen it before, the first time he hooked a fish by himself or got top marks on a test. His insides warmed. He plowed on determinedly.

"Maybe putting people into danger isn't something a responsible adult does, but it's something that a King --" He trailed off, his voice softening as his thoughts turned inward. "Something that a King has to do."

And it was something that Sora could never do. He hadn't even been able to bear the thought of Leon, Yuffie, Cloud and the rest fighting off the Heartless invasion without his help, and all of them were more than capable warriors. To send people, not just strangers, but his friends too, into deadly situations without knowing if they would make it out alive... Sora couldn't do it and still live with himself.

Well, Rafiki and Nala did say that he didn't have what it took to be a King.

"Besides, I wasn't alone," Sora continued, "I told you, Donald and Goofy were with me the entire time."

His father let out a long sigh and leaned back in his chair. The look he gave Sora was accessing. When he turned the same gaze on Sora's mother, his expression changed, becoming gentle, worried. The woman wasn't looking at either of them, instead directing her attention to the Twilight Town picture. She had slid the Firagun bracelet that the Moogles had crafted for Sora onto one slim wrist and the red and silver adornment somehow suited her tanned skin. She twisted it around and around as she stared piercingly at the picture.

"Akina, love?" Sora's father asked searchingly.

"I'm all right, dear," she said, seemingly by reflex, "What were these children's names again?" She shook the picture in indication.

Caught off-guard, as he'd gone over his Twilight Town adventures much earlier, it took Sora a moment to answer. "Oh, um," he said haltingly, and named them off, indicating which was which with his finger as he did so.

"And their parents?"

"It never came up," Sora said, "There was a lot going on and we didn't really chat about family and stuff. Kairi spent a few days with them, so she might know." He didn't bother going into the whole Roxas issue again.

His mother nodded, still with that thoughtful, focused look on her face. "Is it all right if I keep this picture for a while?"

A sudden flood of possessiveness and suspicion brought an instant, furious denial to Sora's lips. He bit it back, surprised at the strength of his feeling. Sure, it was the only picture he had of any of the friends he met on his journey, but that didn't mean he had to snap at his mother over it.

"What for?" he asked instead, keeping his voice even.

Her expression became very bland. "Ah, I just had an idea, but nevermind. Here." She handed the photo back to him. "There wasn't... was that everything that happened?"

"Uh." Sora mentally reviewed all he'd covered. He could keep going on for a while yet; about his visits with Pooh and singing with Ariel in Atlantica; about Ping hiding her gender for her father's sake and the pure magic of flying; about the brutal injustice of Wonderland's Queen and Beast's desperate love for Belle. But that could take hours and already his throat was dry from talking so much and the sun had risen well above the top of the windows. "Yeah, all the major stuff."

"Okay," she said and planted her hands firmly on the edge of the table. "Why don't you go to your room and do some more unpacking? I want to talk to privately with your father."

Sora blinked and shared a quick look with his father, who appeared equally bemused. Wait, just like that? "Are you sure? I mean, you don't have any questions or - or anything?"

"I gotta admit I'm about questioned out," Sora's father said, before his mother could answer. An odd look came over his face. "Still not too sure if I really understand that whole Heartless and Nobody business, but I don't think you talking it to death is going to help me understand it any better."

Sora laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "I didn't explain it very good, sorry." His cup of water metaphor had gone horribly awry. Alas, it had sounded so clever in his head.

"Mom?" he said, peering at her under the curve of his elbow, "Are you sure you don't... you know... " He wished she would ask something, anything, and give him another chance to convince her it had been real. At the same time, a part of him was relieved, because he was so afraid that she would say right out that she didn't believe any of it and he had nothing more to prove otherwise.

"It's a lot to take in at once, sweetie," she said. She rubbed above her eye and for a flash, she seemed strained and brittle, like she would crack if he touched her too roughly. "Give papa and I a chance to let it sink in. Come on, go clean up your room and invite your friends to the party today."

Sora started to rise from his seat, his joints a little stiff from sitting in the same position for hours, and glanced again at his father. The older man crossed his arms and nodded, putting on his familiar "listen to your mother, boy" face. Sora gathered up his belongings and was waved away from helping to clear the table.

In the hallway leading back to his bedroom, he hesitated.

"Do you believe me?" Sora asked in a small voice without turning around. One gloved hand curled into a tense fist against the wall.

"Oh, Sora," his mother exclaimed.

"I believe you," his father said gruffly. Sora heard a chair scrape across the floor as it was pushed back. "Don't see any reason not to, other than it being crazy as all get out."

Footsteps approached Sora and a comforting hand came to rest on his shoulder. He was surprised to recognize his mother's slim fingers instead of his father's blunt, calloused ones.

"No matter what," she said softly, "I know that you aren't lying to us or... making things up for no reason. You would never do that."

The tight knot of unhappiness in his stomach unwound. He smiled gratefully at her and she squeezed his shoulder.

Her return smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but at least it was something.

_________________________

"Hey Sora! You had us worried, ya?"

Sora turned around just time to be the recipient of a flying tackle from a tall, very built red-head. Large, powerful arms wrapped around his arms and chest and he was practically swept off his feet to be squashed against a broad chest. It took him a moment to recognize his affectionate attacker.

"Wakka!" he yelped and let out a laugh, "It's good to see you!" He made an awkward attempt to hug his friend back, his arms pinned as they were.

Wakka gave Sora a final hard squeeze that stole the last of his breath and set him back on his feet, holding him steady while he regained his balance. "You've grown, man," Wakka said, giving Sora a frank appraisal, "You don't got that baby face any more, ya?"

"Oh, thanks," Sora said. He gave Wakka a light punch for the baby-face comment and got a good look at the other boy. Wakka hadn't shot up in height as drastically as Riku had, but he looked to have almost doubled in width across the shoulders and around his arms and legs. He wore the same puffed, yellow pants, and lace up vest as before, but with elbow-length leather arm braces in place of wrist bands. A hint of red stubble graced his square jaw. "You've grown, too." Sora prodded at one tanned bicep. "What've you been doing? Moving mountains?"

Wakka chuckled. "Dad's got me on the docks now, ya? Hauling around nets and cargo all day."

"And by 'all day'," a high-pitched feminine voice said from behind Wakka, "He means whenever he can spare a minute from playing blitzball with Tidus."

"She says it like it's a bad thing," Wakka said and moved aside for Selphie.

The slim, yellow-clad brunette stepped forward to fling her arms around Sora's neck in a much gentler, but equally enthusiastic hug. Like Kairi, she had grown -- and filled out, he noticed with a hint of embarrassment -- from the petite, stick-thin girl he had known. But the end of her hair still flipped up in it's impossible curl and her green eyes still sparkled with boundless energy.

"I'm so glad all of you made it home safe!" she said and pulled away, "All I could think is how terrible it would be if I never got to see you again!"

"Sorry, I didn't -- "

She tapped the end of his nose, cutting his apology short. "You brought Kairi back, so you're forgiven. She had the most faith in you of all us, you know. Never gave up the hope that you'd return."

A fond, unconscious smile turned up Sora's mouth. "Yeah, I'm really grateful to her."

"Oh? Just 'grateful'?" Selphie said with a giggle. Sora's smile abruptly became a blush and he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Hey, don't I get to say 'hi'?" Tidus demanded from behind Selphie, his fists braced on his hips. His face was stretched out in a broad grin and his mostly-bare chest was thrust forward confidently. He hadn't put on nearly as much bulk as Wakka, but his chest was broader and the legs sticking out of his asymmetrical shorts were no longer so bony. He'd also started bleaching his hair, turning it from light brown to a frosty white-blond that stood out sharply against his tan skin.

Sora looked closely at the now-leaner face, as if it might show some clue to what Kairi had sensed, but nothing unusual jumped out at him.

Selphie dramatically rolled her eyes. She pointedly stepped aside and gave a mocking bow, inviting Tidus forward with a sweep of her arm. Sora and Tidus walked toward each other at once to clasp hands and pound each other's backs.

"Man, where'd you lot get off to, huh?" Tidus asked, "The bottom of the ocean?"

_Yes, and you wouldn't believe what I found there._ "Something like that," Sora said, laughing, "I'm just glad to be home."

"I bet! Don't go vanishing like that again, all right?" Tidus gave Sora's shoulders a firm shake. His voice dropped lower. "Any kind of trouble comes up, you let us know." His grip tightened briefly before he let go.

"We take care of our own, ya?" Wakka said, just as quietly as Tidus, as if someone untoward might be listening, "I don't know nothing 'bout what happened or where you been, but I got a feeling it weren't no pleasure trip." Sora couldn't help it; he looked away and ran his fingers through his bangs. "Uh-huh, that's what I thought. Something like that comes your way again, no matter what, you come find us. Don't go facing it by yourself, ya?"

He slung a brotherly arm around Tidus and Selphie's shoulders. They nodded in echo of his sentiment, each making a face of stout determination that was slightly marred by the cocky grin hiding around the corners of Tidus' mouth and the bright humor in Selphie's laughing green eyes.

"Yep, we got your back," Selphie said, giving Sora a wink, "I don't know about you, but I can still swing a mean jump rope. And these two blockheads aren't completely useless either." She gave Wakka a playful jap in the stomach with her elbow.

"Gee, how nice of you," Tidus said teasingly.

A familiar sting started in Sora's eyes and he scrubbed his cheeks quickly to hide it. After the disappointment of this morning, it was good to remember that he had friends that supported him unquestionably. "I will, I promise."

"Now we got that outta tha way, lets see about that dinner we showed up for, ya?"

Sora grinned. He turned around and yelled at the house, where his mother and father had set up the barbeque on the lanai. "Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie are here!"

His father looked up from the grill to wave his spatula in greeting. His mother stuck her head out of the sliding glass door. "Hi kids! I got juice or soda if you want any," she called back.

"Thanks, Mrs. Akina!"

The younger three started toward the house. Sora glanced up and down the street, but didn't see Riku or Kairi yet. Both had given every impression that they'd be able to make it, so they should arrive soon. He just hoped their parents wouldn't change their minds at the last minute.

"Sora!" his father called, "Come help your mother set out the silverware!"

With one last quick glance, Sora obediently left off watching the road and went to help.

He and Selphie were setting out the folding chairs they'd gotten from the attic a short while later when she let out a gasp. She straightened so suddenly the chair she'd been unfolding clattered to the ground. He looked up at her in concern. A blush dusted her cheeks and she covered her lips with her fingertips.

"Selphie?" he asked.

"That can't be Riku," she said in amazement.

Sora's head whipped around so fast several strands of hair lashed into his eyes.

Riku was coming down the street with Kairi at his side. Two days hadn't changed anything about the older boy's appearance; his over-grown silver hair still fell into his face and tumbled down his back, and he still walked with a slouch. Like Sora, he wore the same clothes they had returned home in. His height made Kairi look extra small as she kept pace with him, her face turning up to tell him something. Kairi, for her part, had changed into a short white dress trimmed in pink, with loose sleeves that fluttered around her slim arms.

Sora relaxed, entirely unaware of how his face lit up. "That's Riku all right," Sora said, "He got huge, huh?" He waved his arm wildly to catch their attention. Kairi was carrying a couple of pastry boxes, but Riku lifted his hand in acknowledgement.

Selphie made a faint noise in the back of her throat. "He got really hot is more like it," she said, "I mean he always was, but. Oh my." She gave an embarrassed giggle and fussed with her hair. "Don't listen to me, I'm being silly!"

With that, Selphie darted off, calling out to Kairi. Sora froze, his arm still partially extended. Riku, hot? Riku was strong and a tough fighter and smart, and yeah, Sora had always sort of known that he was good looking, but hot? He was just Riku. What made a guy 'hot', anyway? Sora frowned critically at his friend.

Riku and Kairi had stopped when Selphie approached them. Riku stood with arms crossed, smiling slightly in response to her excited greeting. She didn't try to hug him the way she had with Sora, something he only vaguely noticed. Riku had to bend his head down to address Selphie, making the wispy ends of his hair drift around his smooth cheeks and slanted jaw. His eyes were barely visible through the stands, a half-hidden blue-green glimmer framed by dark lashes. There was only a little of color in his lips -- lips that did have a very nice shape, especially when they curved into that small smile --

Riku's eyes flicked up, meeting Sora's gaze. His eyebrows bunched up in surprise for a split second, and then his entire face changed. His smile didn't get any bigger, but it was like a light had been switched on behind it. Little crinkles formed at the corners of his eyes and the line of his mouth softened.

Sora's heart skipped a beat.

_Crap!_

He spun away and frantically lunged down to grab the chair that Selphie had abandoned. He unfolded it and put it on its feet with only a little fumbling.

"Sora!" He heard Kairi say.

Sora took a deep breath to calm himself before he turned around again. His heart thudded in his chest and his face felt hot. What was that all about? It was weird to get so worked up over being caught staring.

"Hey Kairi," he said, hoping his grin didn't look funny, "Riku. I'm glad you made it."

She seemed a little concerned and Riku, coming up behind her, frowned in confusion. "Everything okay?" Kairi asked. Selphie had taken one of the boxes away, leaving her with the smaller one that she cradled against her chest.

Sora was spared from having to make a reassuring excuse -- or worse yet, explain himself, not that he had the first idea how -- by a twin cry of "Kairi!" from inside the house. Tidus and Wakka tumbled out, abandoning the ball game conversation they'd been having with Sora's father while he seasoned the fish for grilling.

She laughed in amazement as they surrounded her with questions into her well-being and expressions of relief over her safety. Wakka treated her to a milder version the bear-hug he'd given Sora, while Tidus hovered nearby, like he wanted to do the same, but didn't know if it would be welcome. Selphie rescued the other pastry box and stood back saying, "See? I told you to come visit her with me yesterday. _Boys_."

Riku sidled around them until he reached Sora's side. Sora's treacherous heartbeat spiked again. He found himself saying the frist thing that came to mind.

"Did you bring my cookies?" There, perfect distraction! His brilliance saved him again!

"No," Riku said instantly, "Kairi picked up some cinnamon rolls for the party. I get to keep the cookies."

Sora squawked in protest, all nervousness banished. "But you saved them for me!"

"I did when I thought you weren't getting anything. Now you're getting rolls," Riku said. He gave Sora a sidewise smirk. "It's the thought that counts, right?"

"That's cold," Sora grumbled.

Selphie, who'd been awkwardly trying to jimmy open one of the pasty boxes now that she knew what they contained, let out a delighted laugh. "It's good to know that some things never change! Welcome home, guys, we've missed you."

_________

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Holding Up the River  
**Part:** 4  
**Pairings:** Riku/Sora/Kairi, eventually and in theory. Background implications of Roxas/Namine and past Roxas/Axel. Sora and Kairi acting like bestest girlfriends forever because they are.  
**Warning:** Boys Love, het, threesome, family issues, developing plot  
**Notes:** Begins directly after the end of Kingdom Hearts II, sans the epilogue at the end of the credits.

**Disclaimer:** Kingdom Hearts and all associated names and images are the property of Disney and Square Enix. This fanfic is for entertainment purposes only.

IMPORTANT REVISION: Originally, I had Riku in a two-parent household and realized this didn't work with what I wanted for his character. Now for 'Holding Up the River' fic canon, he was raised by his single mom and the previous chapters are now being edited to reflect that. Sorry for the hassle!

* * *

Over a spread of fish steaks, grilled shrimp, chicken, pineapple, bell peppers, and fresh melon, the trio of teenagers, with Kairi's help, regaled Sora and Riku with tales of everything that had happened since they left.

Or a least, every blitzball related event, meeting, or game that had happened since they left. Tidus and Wakka had always been crazy for the sport, a team game played entirely underwater, and finally being old enough to enter the junior league had only increased their frenzy. Selphie spent a lot of time making faces and guiding the conversation back toward things like the renovation of Old Market district, or the new submersible the blue island had built to explore the eastern sea trench, or the latest up-and-coming radio stars. Sora's parents contributed occasionally, though only about the things adults always seemed to want to know, like how was school and how were their parent's businesses doing.

It reminded Sora of the talks he had with Pooh and his friends in the 100 Acre Wood. Happy. Fun. Relaxing.

"Trivial," Riku said to Sora an hour or so later when he mentioned this, "That's the word you're looking for."

"It's not trivial!" Sora said and splashed Riku with water from the faucet. The pair had been regulated to bringing in the dishes while the others marked out bases for a game of kickball in the yard. At least, Sora had been regulated to it and Riku had volunteered, making it the first time he'd helped Sora out with chores instead of using the opportunity to monopolize his friend's toys and comics.

Riku casually took a step back and the spray of water landed on the floor instead.

"It is. Not in a bad way," he clarified. He held up his hands in mock-defense when Sora made a move to splash him again. "It's nice to talk about things that aren't important. I don't remember the last time I had the chance to."

"Uh-huh," Sora said. He gave the platter in his hands another pass under the faucet and handed it to Riku to get loaded in the dishwasher with the rest. "You don't sound like it was that nice."

"It's just... you can't say that you cared about any of that stuff even before the islands fell. That's why we all wanted to leave so much." Riku gave a half-shrug when Sora turned to stare at him, like he didn't really believe what he was saying. "Nothing here was important enough."

"Don't say that," Sora said urgently, "It hurt my parents enough that I was gone for so long, they don't need to know I was planning to leave in the first place. And that's not true anyway, everything here -- " he flung his hand out to indicate the entire island and the others beyond it, "-- is important! Wanting to know if there's more out there isn't the same as being unhappy with where you are."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Sora realized his mistake and leaned back to give his friend some space. Riku's head bowed so that his eyes were hidden behind his hair. For a moment, neither spoke. From outside came a burst of noise as the rest of the group joked about something.

"You were really unhappy here, weren't you?" Sora asked in a low voice. Sadness and regret tightened his chest at Riku's slight nod. He rested his arms on the edge of the sink and watched as the water continued to pour down past his lax fingers. "You know, you talked so much about wanting to leave, about feeling trapped, but I always thought it was for the same reasons I wanted to go."

"To slay the dragon and rescue the princess?" Riku gave Sora a knowing smirk and they both chuckled.

"Yeah, an adventure right out of a story book. The kind you get to end when it gets too scary," Sora said, smiling. His expression turned pensive again. "I never saw how you really felt."

"It wasn't like I wanted you to," Riku said. He closed the door to the dishwasher with his foot and took its place next to Sora. He was close enough that Sora had to tilt his head back to look him in the face. Damnit, why did Riku have to get so tall anyway? "The truth is, I don't think I wanted to see it myself. The way I was back then... you couldn't have helped me. It was something I had to do alone."

_You shouldn't have had to_, Sora thought, but he didn't voice the sentiment. So much had gone wrong during his journey and he felt like a part of it had started that first night, when Riku reached out his hand and Sora hadn't been able to take it. _If I'd been there when you first faced the Darkness, if I could have told you that it was never about rivalry..._

Riku smiled, lines forming around the corners of his eyes and the curve of his mouth deepening. "Hey, what's with that face?" He punched Sora lightly in the shoulder. "This is supposed to be your party!"

Sora swallowed and pulled up his own grin. It felt as wobbily as his stomach did. "Heh, right."

From outside, everyone started shouting their names and they glanced instinctively toward the half-open kitchen window. Riku leaned around Sora to turn off the still running tap. He smelled of soap and faintly, not unpleasantly, of sweat.

"Come on, let's go before they start annoying the neighbors," Riku said, his over-grown hair brushing Sora's bare shoulder as he straightened. Sora took a startled step back, feeling crowded and hot.

"Right!" he said again, a little louder than he intended. He started to say something else, forgot what it was, and headed off to the sliding glass door instead. Riku followed on his heels.

Out in the yard, they were greeted with cheers and an "about time!" from Tidus. Their playing field was a patch of sandy soil and half-dead grass that spread between where the foliage of Sora's yard ended and his neighbor's began. The bases had been carved into the ground with a sharp stick that even now Kairi was tossing aside, while Sora's mother, armed with a drink in one hand and a paperback book under her arm, dragged a chair to edge of the lanai to watch the game.

Looking at the gathering of his friends, Sora was struck with a sense of relief. It was the same place and the same people he'd played with dozens of times before. Wakka had even dug out the same old red ball they'd used back then and was bouncing it impatiently in one hand. It was like it had always been. Everyone was just a little taller.

Through darkness, through light, through nothingness, he'd come back around to the same place he'd started to find it whole and safe and mostly the same. A tension between his shoulders that had been there so long he'd forgotten about it finally eased.

"Sora, Riku!" Kairi shouted, "Come on, are we going to play or not?" Her hair glowed vivid red in the light of the sun.

Sora grinned, glanced behind him to make sure Riku was still there, and ran out to join them.

* * *

"Did you talk to him yet?" Kairi asked as she leaned over the back of the couch.

"Hrmph?" Sora said around the gooey bite of cinnamon roll he'd taken.

Night had fallen a little a while ago, ending the game and sending Selphie, who had an early curfew, home. Wakka had also left, to escort her home and get some sleep before he had to be on the docks at sunrise. The rest of them had retired to the living to polish off the remainder of Kairi's cinnamon rolls.

"Tidus," Kairi clarified, "About the ... you know."

It took a moment, but the memory of their earlier discussion punctured through the general haze of well-being and sugary, sticky goodness Sora had been enjoying. He instinctively glanced around to see if the other boy had heard Kairi's words, even though he knew Tidus had gone to the bathroom a little earlier. Riku, who was perched on the opposite side of the couch and forgoing pastry in favor of a soda, caught Sora's look and cocked his head in silent question.

"About if Tidus remembers the Darkness," Sora said for Riku's benefit, "No, I didn't get the chance."

"He stuck close to Wakka most of the time," Riku said. He didn't seem surprised about the information. Kairi had probably explained it to him on their way over that afternoon. "Do you two really want to do this tonight? We've still just got back and..." He shrugged. "It's been a nice party."

All of them spoke in low voices and kept stealing peeks at the hallway, just in case Tidus decided to come back in the middle of their conversation.

Kairi hesitated. "I suppose so. I just thought..."

"Nah, I'll just talk to him now," Sora said, "I was going to do it today, anyway. I bet he'll be glad to know he's not crazy." He shoved the last of his cinnamon roll into his mouth and wiped his sticky hands off on his shorts.

Riku gave him a narrow, intense look, one that sent a chill down his back. "Do you really think so, Sora?"

Sora swallowed his over-sized mouthful with difficulty. He didn't get the chance to ask what Riku meant as Tidus returned then, shaking water off his hands.

"Hey guys, I gotta split soon, but can we play cards first?" Tidus was saying as he came into the room. Sora and Kairi instantly sprung apart; Kairi stepping back from the couch and Sora leaping to his feet. Riku didn't so much as twitch, as if he hadn't just been talking about a friend behind their back. Tidus didn't seem to notice either way.

"It's been forever since I've gotten to play Shiprat Slap!"

"Yeah, that sounds great!" Sora said hastily. He walked forward and grabbed Tidus's shoulders, turning the younger boy back around to the hallway. "Come help me find the deck. Most of my stuff is still all packed away."

Asking Tidus to help him find something in his bedroom wasn't the smoothest way to arrange for a chat ever, but Sora did what he could.

"Sure," Tidus said with a grin and let himself be led away.

As soon as the door to Sora's room was closed behind the both of them, Tidus spun around and said eagerly, "So have you asked her out yet?"

All of Sora's brain functions stopped dead. He'd been so caught up in his previous conversation with Riku and Kairi that the first coherent thought he got was 'what does dating have to do with Heartless?' The gears of his brain clicked together, slowly and inevitably coming to the realization of the only "her" in his life that Tidus could be talking about. When it did, his body tensed and his face instantly grew warm.

There was no way, Tidus couldn't know that -- what gave him the idea -- Sora wasn't really thinking about dating, he just wanted to -- with Kairi it was about --

Tidus continued to grin expectantly at Sora, though what Tidus expected him to do or say, he had no idea. Not that he could come up with much of anything other than the idea of dating and Kairi. Of course he'd known that he -- he cared about Kairi, cared about her a lot. And he'd certainly seen enough couples together his journeys to know that he would -- he wasn't against being that close to her, it was just that... it was ...

"Come on, man," Tidus said at last. When Sora only stared at him, he rolled his eyes dramatically. "Have you an' Kairi hooked up yet or what? Don't lie to me, I totally saw the way you two jumped apart in there. Uh, that reminds me." Tidus scratched the back of head and shifted from one foot to the other sheepishly. "I kinda, sorta asked her out once while you were gone. But don't worry! She turned me down, so she's gotta be into you."

That suggestion only made the frantic fluttering in his stomach worse, but it somehow settled the equally frantic rattling in his head. His asking out Kairi -- as in dating her, as in more than seeing each other everyday, more than hugs, holding hands, and talking, more than friendship -- was embarrassing and appealing and scary. That Kairi might want to go out with him was exciting in an entirely different way.

"You… you really think so?" he asked, unable to help himself.

"So you haven't asked her!" Tidus said triumphantly and bounced in place, "What are you waiting for, man? Hurry up already, 'cause I bet anything Riku'll try to get there before you do. Anything to be competitive, you know."

Sora's hackles rose.

"Right, so I'll talk to Selphie and -- "

"You don't know that."

Tidus paused. "Huh?"

"You don't know what Riku would do," Sora said and took a step forward, into Tidus's space. "Don't talk about him like that."

"Hey, just calling it like I saw it." Tidus lifted both hands when Sora showed no sign of backing down. "Look, I like Riku just fine, don't get me wrong. But you know what he was like. If you were into something, he always had to get his nose in it too."

"No, he didn't," Sora said automatically. It was the other way around. Most everything Sora did was Riku's idea first. From the sword fighting to the raft, and every adventure in between. Which wasn't to say that Sora didn't come up with stuff too, but Riku usually improved on Sora's ideas so much that they may as well have been his to begin with.

Which had been really annoying at the time, come to think of it.

Still, that was then. Riku was different now. After all the sacrifices he made -- _"Take care of her," he had said as the only door out slammed closed, trapping him in Darkness_ -- really, even the suggestion that Riku would do something like go after Kairi just to be competitive was enough to make Sora boil with anger.

"Whoa." Tidus took a step back. "Sorry, sorry, I take it back! Riku's great! Seriously, stop glaring at me like that, it's scary."

"Riku's been through a lot," Sora said warningly. He turned his glare on his unmade bed instead of Tidus. "He's not the same person he used to be."

"Got it, sorry," Tidus repeated. He sounded genuinely apologetic and after a moment, Sora nodded, giving his friend a rueful smile.

"Thanks," Sora said, slightly embarrassed for reacting so harshly, "I didn't mean to snap."

"It's all right," Tidus said, "You know I tend punch people for saying anything about Wakka or Selphie. 'Course," he added thoughtfully, "At least half of that's because if Wakka got there first, the talkers wouldn't survive it. Wakka doesn't need that kind of guilt, ya?"

They both chuckled at Tidus's poor imitation of Wakka's dock-hand accent.

"So," Tidus said. The corner of his mouth lifted knowingly. "You got something else you want talk about, or did you _really_ just need help finding a deck of cards?"

"There is something," Sora said, "Not about Kairi," he added quickly at the renewed glint in Tidus's eye, "It's about the night of the big storm."

Tidus cocked his head to the side and put his fists on his hips. "_Which_ big storm? There were some nasty ones last winter and this summer has been pretty bad, too."

"I meant the one the night Riku and I left."

The skin around Tidus's eyes tightened in a wince, but his grin widened.

"You mean the night you two vanished and scared the crap out of everyone," he said in a jovial tone, "That kinda makes it sound like you did it on purpose."

Sora shook his head and decided not to address that. "You don't remember anything weird from that night, do you?"

"Wakka's mom overcooked the stew. Tasted like shoes."

Sora laughed, but despite his joking words, Tidus's gaze darted around the room like one of his blitzballs, refusing to meet Sora's eyes. His grin was strained around the edges, forced.

"Kairi told me that..." Damnit, now it sounded like he was putting all this on Kairi. Good going, Sora. He folded his arms across his chest. "I mean, I heard that there were people who had memories of weird stuff from that night. Yellow-eyed monsters in the darkness."

Tidus's grin fell altogether. He leaned back on his heels, as if to put even more distance between him and Sora.

"What about 'em?" he asked suspiciously. And then hurriedly, "We're talking two years ago, right? It was just some pansies gettin' scared by the meteor shower. Jeez Sora, that was forever ago. Even they've shut up about it."

"It was real."

"...you've lost me."

"The monsters, the things those people said they saw and remembered, it was all real," Sora said, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. He got the feeling that getting annoyed with Tidus when he was supposed to reassuring him about his sanity wasn't the way you were supposed to go about these things, but what did Sora know? Tidus was only the third person he'd talked in the past few months who didn't automatically understand and take him at his word about the Heartless.

"That storm was the islands being attacked and...and destroyed. Most people don't remember what really happened because everything was restored to the way it had been before the attack. At least, it was supposed to be."

Tidus licked his lower lip. A quick, nervous dart of his tongue. "What's that got to do with me?"

It was a weird question.

"I just wanted to let you know that if you did remember anything weird happening, then well..." Sora took a deep breath. "It was real and you aren't crazy. That's all."

Tidus ducked his head and dug his fingers through the hair at back of his head. "Sure, okay," he said.

Sora had imagined that he'd either be relieved to find out he wasn't going insane or completely confused because he had no idea what Sora was talking about. Instead, Tidus sounded more upset and uncomfortable than anything else. An unpleasant sensation crawled across Sora's skin.

"Okay," Sora echoed.

There was a pause. Finally, Sora said, "Then, I guess we better get back to the others." Unsure what else to do, he took a half-step in the direction of the door.

Tidus shoved his hands into his pockets and continued to stare at the floor. Sora stopped again, watching his friend uncertainly. A chill evening breeze from the open window sent a few papers on Sora's table sliding to the floor. Neither made a move to pick them up.

"So it's only anything weird from the night of the storm that's real, right?" Tidus said at last, "If anything... else... happened afterward, then it's not related at all, right? I mean." He laughed oddly. "Everyone gets stupid nightmares and stuff."

The crawling feeling got worse. "What're your nightmares about?"

Tidus looked up though his bangs. It was disconcerting to see the wariness in his expression. There wasn't much that Tidus didn't talk about, at least as far as Sora knew, and he especially didn't hold things back from his friends.

Maybe there was a good reason Riku had been reluctant for Sora to do this. He was half-tempted to call it off, to tell Tidus maybe he was wrong and yeah, the nightmares really are just dreams, nothing to worry about, but the other boy had already started talking.

"At first, I was just in this vast darkness," Tidus said. He went back to looking at the floor, prodding at the cracks between the floorboards with his big toe. "Don't know where I am, can't see nothing, all I know is that I'm hungry. Like starving, like I'm gonna die if I don't get a sandwich or something. There's a voice that keeps calling to me, saying 'come here, I've got food for you', so I follow the voice 'cause I'd do anything to eat. I walk and walk, and then I find these lights in the darkness and I realize they're what I'm hungry for.

"So I chase them down and eat them, but no matter how much I eat, the hunger never gets better. And later... in later dreams, instead of the darkness, I'm in this jungle and the lights... the lights are inside people."

Tidus dug his toe deeper into the crack.

"I'm tearing open people to eat what's inside them."

No words could make it out past the block in Sora's throat. It had never occurred to him to think about what had become of his friends' hearts after the islands fell. He'd never thought that they could have become Heartless.

Or even been some of the Heartless that Sora himself had fought against. Heartless were easily controlled by whoever was had the most power over the Darkness; it sounded like someone had summoned Tidus and it had probably been one of the villains working with Maleficent. Could have even be Riku, for that matter. Maybe there had been a Nobody of Tidus, too. His body and soul used by Organization XIII while his heart was used by Maleficent's group.

It was a horrible thought.

"Sora," Tidus said into the silence, "What happened to me?"

The words caught and had to be forced out in a whisper. "Nothing. Nothing, it was just a dream."

"You're such a sucky liar."

There wasn't much Sora could say to that. "Are you sure really want to know?" he asked.

"_No_," Tidus said emphatically. He abruptly pushed past Sora and sat down on the edge of the bed, bracing his elbows on his thighs. The bleached ends of his hair gleamed whitely in the bedroom light as he put his head in his hands. "I thought there was something screwed up in my head, from like when my old man died. My dreams were pretty twisted then, too. But they just keep getting worse and worse and Wakka's been getting on me 'cause I ain't sleeping as good, and trust me, you don't wanna be on the wrong end of Wakka worrying, and now...you say they're real. Like I really hurt all those people. I don't wanna know. I just..."

He cradled the side of his face in his hand and smiled ruefully up at Sora. "I can't say not knowing is any better, you know?"

Sora did know.

He stepped around his small work table, scattered with packing paper, photos, and old homework he'd pulled out of some boxes, and sat next to Tidus. Twice in one day for talking about this, but it was different now, under Tidus's troubled gaze than it had been with his parents.

"You were turned into a Heartless."

* * *

Tidus didn't say anything during Sora's explanation. It was as brief as Sora could make it, not wanting to reiterate the entire story again. Especially since they didn't have all night. When Sora came to a finish, Tidus sighed and leaned back, frowning thoughtfully at the ceiling. He didn't seem as upset anymore, but for the first time, Sora found himself wondering if it was for real. Tidus had been his normal self at the party too, all while carrying this secret around.

"So how'd you, Riku, and Kairi luck out, anyway?" Tidus asked, looking at Sora sideways, "Why weren't out gobbling hearts with the rest of us?"

"Hey, someone had to rescue you lot," Sora said, "It just happened to be us. Listen, Tidus," he continued before they could get sidetracked onto that part of the story, "Whatever happened... it wasn't your fault. Heartless run on instinct, nothing else. You couldn't even remember who you were, there was no way you could have stopped anything you did as a Heartless. So don't blame yourself."

The look Tidus gave him was doubtful. "For real?" he said. His fingers plucked restlessly at a fold in the comforter.

Sora nodded with all the conviction he could muster. "Besides, I restored all the worlds attacked by the Darkness. Since you became normal again, I'm sure all the hearts that the Heartless got did too. Everything's been fixed. So don't worry!"

Hope and relief flashed across Tidus's face. He let out a breath that made his whole body sag. "Whew. I don't know if I could live with... anyway. I'm glad." He grimaced. "Now if I can just get rid of these stupid nightmares."

"If you ever need to talk about them, just tell me," Sora said. It was tempting to tell Tidus about his own experience being a Heartless, but that was for only a short while and... completely different. He hadn't lost his sense of self the way Tidus had. "I don't know if I can help, but at least I can listen."

"Yeah, thanks," Tidus said, smiling gratefully. The familiar cocky smirk took over his face. "Just don't go thinking I'm gonna let you off without telling the whole story of what you three were up to in the outside world. Oh, uh." His cheeks suddenly turned red. "You didn't happen to meet any, you know, girls with short brown hair while you were out there, did you?"

Short brown hair? Olette and Aerith had brown hair, but wasn't theirs pretty long?

Tidus mumbled something to his knees.

"What?"

"A cute girl, I mean," Tidus repeated, "About our age. Kind of funny eyes, one green and the other.... " When he noticed Sora staring at him, he broke off and shifted awkwardly. "She's shown up a couple times in my nightmares, is all, I thought maybe ---"

A knock on the door interrupted him. "Honey, is everything all right in there?" his mother asked. "It's getting late and you've left Riku and Kairi all alone." Her voice took on a mildly reproachful note.

Sora winced. So what if he wasn't the best host? Riku and Kairi didn't expect to be treated like guests anyway. "It's fine, mom," he called through the door, "We were just looking for something and lost track of time."

"I should head home anyway," Tidus said, standing up quickly. "There's school tomorrow."

School. That's right, they were still in the school term. Sora hadn't thought about school or homework in ages. If he'd returned earlier, he would have started high school last year - either that, or joined his father on the fishing boat. He'd never been the best student and always figured he would bomb his high school entrance exam and start working instead. Except that the idea of being left behind while Riku and Kairi went on without him had been depressing, so he just didn't think about it at all. It was summer time, after all, and that summer felt like it was going to last forever.

"I think it's time for everyone to go home," his mother said, "It's been a long day. Come show your guests out, sweetie."

"Be right there, mom," Sora said and got up to follow Tidus out the door.

* * *

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

Holding Up the River

Part 5

**All That Was Stated in Part 1 Remains True In Part 5. Thank you!**

* * *

The skateboard sailed over the wet pavement, kicking up a fine spray. Its rider crouched and then jumped. For a moment they were both air born, the skateboard held firmly by black-and-white taped fingers as strong legs pulled up almost to the rider's chin. They landed together with expert ease and ground past Sora, close enough to ruffle his hair.

"What're you so upset about?" Roxas called over his shoulder as he began another circuit of Tram Commons.

Sora shook his head. Water droplets flew in all directions. Except for the sound of Roxas's skateboard, Tram Commons was eerily silent and abandoned. The trains stood still and dark, the shops closed and barred. Heavy gray clouds roiled across the sky, blocking even Twilight Town's normally dim sunlight.

"What's going on?" Sora asked. He reached up to rub his arms. "Why's it so dark here?" He wondered if this was some memory of Roxas's; Sora had never seen Twilight Town in the middle of a storm like this.

"You can't tell?" Roxas shouted from somewhere behind a building.

Sora opened his mouth to ask what Roxas meant _and swung his Keyblade through the dark mass, feeling a surge of satisfaction as yet another Heartless vanished. They surrounded him, the familiar seething mob with hungry claws, hateful yellow eyes. He spun around, using the force of his momentum to power his next strike. The Shadow Heartless before him turned seconds before the blow connected._

_Except it wasn't a Shadow, it was his mother. Her wispy brown hair that always smelled of mango was wild about her round face, her blue eyes wide were going wide with shock. She lifted her hands, soft from the lotion she used daily, with uneven nails she always complained she didn't have the time to tend, in a desperate attempt at self-defensive. It was no good. The blunt end of his Keyblade slammed into her face with a horrible crunch and she was gone, her screaming heart twisting up into the sky. Xemnas would have it in a moment, delivered straight to him as if Sora had gift wrapped it._

Stop,_ Sora told himself._ Stop!

_Claws grazed his arm. He pivoted on his heel, brought the Keyblade around one-handed into the Heartless beside him. Oblivion shimmered like the moon on the night sea as it slashed into his father's side, cutting him apart at the waist._

_More were still coming. He was going to kill them all._

No, they aren't Heartless! _Sora screamed as Tidus fell and then Selphie behind him, and one of Sora's cousins after that._ Can't you see, they're your family, your friends, you have to **stop!**

"Stop!"

His shout echoed against the brick buildings. His only answer was the clack-clack-clack of skateboard wheels over the cobblestones.

Sora shivered and rubbed his arms again. For the first time, he noticed that he was completely soaked. Dripping wet, as if he'd just climbed out of the ocean after a swim. "I'm having a bad dream," he said.

Roxas appeared around the side of a building and came to a stop a few feet from Sora. "You should be safe here," he said. He looked up at the dark sky and frowned. "For now, I guess. I'm not entirely sure how this works. You woke up fine last time, so..."

"Did you call me here?" Sora wiped the water off his face and started to walk toward his Nobody. After a couple steps, something crackled under his shoe. He stopped and moved his foot out of the way. The picture of Hayner, Pence, and Olette smiled up at him. Sora squatted down and picked it up, before the damp could ruin it.

Roxas stepped on the tail end of his skateboard, flipping the front up into his hand.

"I think I did," Roxas said, "Your heart was troubled, so I thought hard of something I enjoyed doing and..." He glanced around at the Commons and shrugged. No noise penetrated the silence, not even from the rest of the town. Twilight Town was a quiet place, sure, but there had always been this bustling sense of life all the times Sora visited. This was like a graveyard.

"Whatever's bothering you has to be pretty bad. Where did you get that?" Roxas asked.

"Huh?" Sora looked over at Roxas and then, following Roxas's gaze, at the picture in his hand. "It was on the ground. Why aren't you in it?"

"I'm not supposed to be," Roxas said. There was some emotion in his voice Sora couldn't name. It rose in Sora's chest like a tired, gentle sigh, a sad ache that was as treasured as it was painful. "Even in the virtual world Ansem created, I wasn't real. As soon as he was ready to put us back together, everything about me there was erased."

Sora cocked his head in confusion. "Then how come you're in the picture I have? I know Riku got it from the copy Twilight Town. Unless he took the picture while you were still...you know, apart of it."

"Oh," Roxas said, snapping his fingers, "_That's_ why it's been bugging me. Riku couldn't have stolen it from before I was erased, or it wouldn't have been there like that -- " he waved at the picture Sora held, "-- the day I joined with you. Besides, the others and I would have noticed if it got snatched again." He smiled and that same feeling from before made Sora feel like his chest was being rung out. "That picture meant a lot to us."

In the thin gray light, Roxas's figure was strangely inconsistent. One moment an ordinary boy dressed in black and white, a skateboard resting against his leg, the next an Organization XIII member, a Keyblade held loosely at each hip and the occasional flash of ruddy sunlight between the clouds glinting off the metal adornments on his cloak. He shook himself and settled down into the boy again.

"Ask Riku," Roxas said decisively, "If anybody knows, it's him." He dropped the skateboard and slid it over to Sora. "Lets ride some before you wake up."

Sora stopped the board with his foot. He was tempted to protest, to ask more questions while he had the chance, but a chill wind whistled through the Commons and tugged at his wet clothes. Roxas had already acquired another skateboard and the surrounding emptiness yawned even wider as Sora's only company rode off. Seeing nothing else to do, Sora mounted his own board and went after him.

The two raced down Twilight Town's dead streets. Overhead, the clouds continued to seethe.

* * *

Sora woke that morning with a headache, sore, swollen eyes, and only a vague memory of having dreamed. He laid in bed for a while, trying to figure out why he felt so exhausted, but could only come up with the feeling that he needed to ask Riku about something. He gave up. It would come to him eventually.

Later at breakfast, without really knowing why, he hugged his mother so tight she protested.

* * *

His sixth day back on the islands, Sora's parents took him shopping. It required a ferry ride over to the next island and was exciting as it sounded. Everyone who recognized him wanted to stop for a chat, to exclaim over how much he'd grown, to inquire, in an eager, hushed way, where he'd been for the past two years. His father expertly deflected these questions by pretending they'd never asked them. A store clerk would get overly curious and Sora's father would interrupt to engage in an elaborate fishing story, only to interrupt himself five minutes in to ask about the size of a pair of shorts or if that hoodie came in a different shade of red. The clerk would jump on the question and escape as soon as it was answered. Sora wasn't sure why. His father told the best stories.

There was one thing that stuck with him from the trip; a snippet of overheard conversation while he was getting his new shoes fitted.

"...third attack this month," the woman on the other side of the potted plant behind him had said. Sora curled his bare toes against the carpet and listened closer. "It's always been so safe here, it's why my family moved away from the industries in the first place. I just don't know what to do now."

"Don't the police have any leads?" a man's voice answered her.

"That's the thing," she said. Their voices started to fade as the pair walked off. "None of the witnesses could recall seeing the assailant's face. Strangest of all -- "

That was all he caught before they went out of earshot and the sales clerk returned with a stack of boxes. He tried to put the incident out of his mind. It wasn't his business.

All in all, at the end of the excursion, he was equipped with two new outfits, PJ's, underwear, fingerless-gloves, and a pair of shoes.

"We can get you more later," his mother said, "Things are a little tight right now." The creases in her cheeks deepened when she admitted this. At his questioning look, she explained, "I couldn't work for a while and when I came back, they moved me to part time. Then the fishing turned bad and... well." She ran her fingers through his hair, smiling fondly when the spikes determinedly sprung back up again. "You're home safe. Everything else will work out eventually."

Guilt squirmed in his stomach. Before, Sora had never noticed or cared how clothes ended up on his back or food on his plate or munny for snacks in his pockets. He knew his stuff was a little nicer than what Wakka and Tidus got, not quite as nice as what Kairi had, but that was about it. Then his journey had given him an unexpected crash course in finances. There's something about having to decide between eating that day and the bottle of potion that may end up being the only thing standing between you and death that really makes you appreciate where your munny is coming from.

Which reminded him of the pouch of said funds tucked away in the bottom drawer of his dresser. Not that there was much left after he'd outfitted himself, Donald, Goofy, and Riku before going through the door into Kingdom Hearts.

"Don't worry," she said while he hesitated over the idea of sharing that munny with his family, "They told me I could have all the time I needed to get you settled in again."

'All the time needed' ended up being a week later.

By then, Sora was ready to chew on the walls.

They wouldn't let him leave the house alone. He could invite friends over if he wanted; he could sit on the phone all day; he could play out in the yard as long as he didn't go beyond the property line. He just couldn't go off by himself. His father even offered to take him to the play island, if he wanted to see it so badly, except the idea of letting an adult poke around out there was just unheard of. All in all, threw a big wrench in his original plans to track down and talk to the people in the newspaper, the ones that sounded like they remembered the Darkness.

Though after what happened with Tidus, he couldn't say he was particularly unhappy about that part.

His parents had never restricted him like this before. Ever since he was old enough to row a dinghy on his own, he'd been allowed to run off when and wherever he pleased, as long as he got his chores done and was back home in time for dinner. He was seldom even grounded for more than a couple days. It was like suddenly being put in a cage.

And Sora understood why, really he did.

If he forgot, Kairi would remind him whenever he complained about it to her. Which was pretty often; she was dutiful in her promise to their Nobodies to see him everyday, even if it was only for a couple minutes. Sora had mixed feelings about this. He was happy to see her, but every time she smiled at him or titled her head a certain way, the words "ask her out" flashed across his mind and he got so tongue-tied and nervous it was embarrassing. It was easier when Riku was over too, because then it was just like old times.

Except for the whole being trapped in the house part.

"Sora," Kairi said during one such visit, "Why don't you just relax and enjoy it? This has to be a lot nicer than -- than tracking Riku and me across a dozen of worlds or fighting all those villains."

"It is. I am." Sora had struggled helplessly to express himself. He wanted to tell her how he got ready to attack every time a noise caught him off-guard, that he almost took out the neighbor's cat because it ran at him from under some bushes. About how he woke up sometimes in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep until he convinced himself that Donald and Goofy weren't nearby because they weren't supposed to be, that he could wait a few hours to call her and Riku to hear their voices. That everything was okay.

In the end, he didn't say anything, because it was Kairi. The last thing he wanted was to look bad in her eyes.

So the next evening, when Sora's parents sat him down to announce that they had to return to their respective jobs in two days and lay down the rules for while they were gone, it was all he could do to keep from cheering.

* * *

The diesel fumes from the bus his mother rode to the ferry were still drifting on the air when Sora tore out of his house. The chain clipped to his new shorts beat a steady rhythm against his hip as he ran.

He swung by Riku's house first, even though it was further out.

"Why don't you take Kairi instead?" Riku said by way of greeting.

"Duh, we're going to be pick her up next," Sora said.

Riku didn't respond right away. He stood in the doorway of the two bedroom house he shared with his mother, one hand holding open the bent screen door. Like Sora, he was wearing new clothes; loose pants, a gray tank top edged in yellow, and a carved bone fishhook on a cord around his neck. He'd worn the same the last time he'd visited and it was as distracting now as it was then.

The problem, Sora had decided the night before when he lay in bed half-asleep and musing, was Riku's shoulders. Riku had always had big shoulders and a broad chest. They'd started bulking up when he was around twelve because of the amount of sword practice he did, and by fifteen, they were almost as broad as a grown man's. Sora had always thought it made Riku look weird and top-heavy. He even said so out loud once and got his face rubbed in the sand for it.

But now that Riku was taller and broader all over, his big shoulders didn't stand out as much. In fact, the tank top made it so obvious how well they fit with his long torso and arms that Sora kept noticing. The way he'd stared noticing that particular smile Riku got whenever they met up. It made him feel weird, but Sora figured he'd get used to it when Riku's new appearance stopped being such a surprise.

"You saw me yesterday," Riku said at last, "You should spend more time with Kairi."

Sora's insides squirmed. "Technically, I saw you both yesterday. Come on Riku, we haven't all been to the island once since we got back. We should all go!"

Riku sighed and rolled his eyes. "I forget how dumb you are sometimes." He shoved the screen open wider and headed back into the house.

"Hey!" Sora shouted. He grabbed the screen before it could close and charged in after Riku, barely remembering to toe his shoes off on the way in.

Once beyond the entrance way, curiosity dimmed his anger. It had been years since he'd been inside Riku's house. Riku seldom invited anyone over to his place, always prefering to go out or stay at his friend's houses.

It was a small house and simply decorated The living room had a low table and a backless couch, with some decorative candles scattered around. The stark cleanliness was marred only by a book laying upside down on the couch and a plate of half-eaten melon on the table. All the furniture looked new. It wasn't somewhere you came to get comfortable.

"I'm meeting my mother for lunch, so I could only stay for a few hours anyway," Riku said. He sat on the couch, his long legs stretched out before him.

It was strange to hear about Riku spending time with his mother. He'd never really talked about her while they were growing up and the rare occasion that Sora had seen them together, they usually acted like the other person wasn't there.

"How are things with her?" Sora asked. He looked around, but he didn't want to sit anywhere for fear of messing it up.

"I... I'm not sure," Riku said. He slouched, resting his weight on his thighs. "It's... I'm not used to it. Do you remember what I was saying on the beach the day we came home? About not missing my mother, not looking forward to being a kid again?"

Sora nodded.

"We never really got along. I used to think she didn't want me here any more than I wanted to be here."

"She's your mom!" Sora protested automatically. He thought of the way she had cried over the radio on the ship taking them into port. "Of course she wanted you!"

Riku gave him a look. "I said 'used to'. Pay attention for once."

Sora subsided with a frown, but he was still upset. He couldn't really describe what the idea of a mother who didn't want her son made him feel. It wasn't what mothers _did_.

Riku continued to eye him. He started to talk and stopped, his mouth twisting. "This is stupid," he muttered. "Look, forget about my mother. I'm giving you the opportunity to spend time alone with Kairi. You should be grateful."

"Don't change the subject!"

"You're the one who changed it in the first place."

"I asked about how you're doing. That's called 'friendship', you jerk."

"Sora," Riku said. He stood up and walked over to take Sora's shoulders. "Go get Kairi." He turned Sora around. "And take her to the island." He pushed Sora toward the front door. "I'll head out there with you two tomorrow."

Sora slammed his hands into the door frame to keep from getting shoved further.

"If you really think that's going to keep me from throwing you out -- "

"What's it to you how much time I spend with Kairi?" Sora demanded. He frowned over his shoulder, but Riku didn't meet his eyes.

Sora's mind worked furiously. What he had told Tidus, that Riku wouldn't go after Kairi just to be competitive, was true. If Riku went after Kairi, it would be because he liked her.

It wasn't something Sora had really thought about before. But when Kairi's heart was lost, her body an empty shell, Riku had fought just as hard as Sora to save her. More, because even if Riku had been in the wrong, he'd put everything into saving Kairi while Sora hadn't been able to. It wasn't like when Riku switched from stuffing crabs down the back of Sora's shirt to fish because the slimy feeling made Sora yell more; it was because it was Kairi. She was important.

So if Riku liked Kairi -- too, added the little voice in the back of his head -- then why was he trying to push her and Sora together?

Riku's hand vanished from Sora's shoulders as he stepped back. "It's pretty obvious when you're avoiding something."

"I'm not avoiding anything!" Sora said furiously.

"You've been avoiding Kairi," Riku said. His voice wasn't accusatory, even if Riku did have a talent for making even the mildest statements comes off as rude, but Sora bristled anyway. Probably because it was a lot closer to the truth than he was willing to admit.

"Riiight, 'cause it's not like she was at my _house_ yesterday, clearly I"m just --"

Sora made the mistake of dropping his arms and relaxing his stance. A moment later he was propelled out past the door jam, his back stinging from the impact of Riku's push. He checked his forward momentum with his right foot and twisted around just in time to catch his shoes before they slammed into his face.

"Riku! Come on!"

"Whine, whine," Riku said. He used his big frame to -- unfairly! -- take over the entire doorway so Sora couldn't bully his was back inside. "I'll see you later." His voice softened. "I promise I'm not going to vanish before then, Sora."

The protest that Sora had been building up to lodged in his throat. He had to swallow twice to get rid of it. "Cheater," he muttered thickly.

He couldn't tell if Riku heard the accusation. All his friend did was flick his hand in a shooing motion and close the door between them.

* * *

When Sora went to pick up Kairi, her father's secretary chased him off. Kairi and her father, she explained tartly, were meeting with a private tutor to see about making up for the months of school work Kairi had missed. Only a couple weeks since returning and Kairi already was falling back into step with the life she'd briefly interrupted.

Sora stood for a while on the walkway leading up to her house, not sure what to do with himself. He got the strange feeling he was the only one trying to live a moment that everyone else had long since finished with.

He continued on to the docks alone.

* * *

The little boat was still tied to the pier like it always had been. The rope holding it in place was slightly more frayed than before, the hull slick with algae below the waterline and weathered to a silvery brown above. Some water sloshed around in the bottom as it rocked back and forth. When he climbed in and took up the ores, they felt small in his hands.

But it was still there.

The play island was empty when Sora reached it. Waves and wind had smoothed away the marks of previous visitors, leaving behind tangles of kelp and seashells in place of footsteps. A muggy heat was settling in and Sora walked among the wreckage of the tide with his arms and fingers spread, feeling the heavy air move against his skin.

For a while, he just poked around. Frowned at the wooden shack with it's recently acquired radio tower. Ran the obstacle course he and Riku had always challenged each other on. Laughed over how easy and simple it was, how it used to be such a big deal when he was younger. Mourned over the remains of their raft, now little more than a few logs held together by disintegrating rope. Climbed to the highest platform on the island to look down on it.

He went into the Secret Place last. It was drastically cooler inside than out, the earth-scented chill closing around his shoulder when he stepped inside.

The Secret Place had always carried an expectant hush, like a crowd of people holding their breath before a big event. The first time they had dared to enter it, sticky with sand and sweat, barely able to breathe through the clench of fearful excitement in their chests, the weight of that hush had sent them running out again moments later. But repeat visits had dulled it's intensity, until not even the potential of monsters hidden in the shadows could make the place more interesting than somewhere to draw on the walls and get out of the heat.

Sora felt it again now, rushing lightly over his bare arms and calling up an answering tingle in his right hand. He stretched out his fingers from their instinctive clench. The Keyhole was here, he knew now, and the door that protected his home world.

Quiet and hidden from all, save Riku.

He ran his fingers along the pictures carved into the surrounding rock and wondered. How long had Riku felt the Keyhole's presence? Had it pulled at him the way the other Keyholes had yanked at Sora? Calling the Keyblade to them so strongly that he'd stumbled? Maybe the bigger question; was it the Keyhole that called to Riku, or the Darkness beyond it asking to be let in?

With a shiver, Sora shut off that line of thought and focused on the carving nearest him. It was one of his, he if he remembered right. All of them had left their marks on the cave over the years and it was pretty common to start a drawing and come back later to find someone else had added to it. This particular set of carvings featured a tall, gangly person with a long snout and tall hat. Next to it was another figure, shorter and rounder and even more ridiculous. It flailed it's sketchy arms around as if in a fit of temper.

Sora blinked. He took a few steps back to get a better look at them.

"Donald," he said quietly, pointing to the shorter figure. He moved his hand over to indicate the taller one. "Goofy? No way!" He spun around and scrutinized the collage of drawings with greater interest.

Most of them he knew the story behind, like the one rock completely covered in Tidus's sloppy and grinning self-portrait, or the Chocobo Kairi had carved after the school trip to the zoo, that Selphie later crossed out angrily because she'd been stuck home with a fever that day. But some of the others...

A blob-like mass with slit eyes and a jagged, gap-toothed grin stretched out ominously over a row of graves. He pressed his finger-tips against it, feeling the uneven lines scratched deep into the stone. "Oogie-boogie?"

It certainly reminded him of the gambling obsessed, bug infested villain. The graves, too...if Halloween Town had lacked anything, these grim headstones with their messages of final rest hadn't been it. Sora remembered making this particular drawing and the memory pulled up an involuntary smile.

_"That's creepy," Kairi said from the entrance way. She ground the toe of her sandal into the ground uneasily._

_Sora dragged his carving stone over the rock a couple more times to fill the main shape and stepped back, wiping streaks of white dust off on his shorts. "Really? I think he's funny looking." He stretched his lips to their limits in mimicry of the creature's manic grin._

_Kairi giggled and Sora quickly broke down into answering laughter._

Still smiling, Sora continued on. As his gaze panned past the door, he was distracted by a drawing not mysterious, but unexpected. There was a new addition to the portraits of himself and Kairi they'd drawn so many years ago. Now two arms stretched between them, a mutual exchange of paopu fruit.

He knelt down next to it. The arm from Kairi to him and its burden had been there long enough that the grit from craving it had blown or been brushed away. He traced it lightly, a feeling he couldn't name making his chest swell until it escaped him in a soundless huff of laughter.

Tidus was right. She liked him.

And he liked her back. More than just friends and handholding and occasional hugs. Even though it made his heart pound and his skin tingle with nervous excitement, he could admit he wanted more.

He winced a little. And Riku was right, too. Sora had been avoiding Kairi rather than confront his feelings or share them with her. "Sorry for making you wait, Kairi," he said quietly, "First thing tomorrow, okay?"

He traced over the drawing one more time, the new parts standing bright-white against the faded gray of the old, and stood.

On the other side of the cave, he found a carving of a many-towered castle - Disney Castle? Maybe. It wasn't like any other buildings on the islands, so where had he gotten the idea for it? There were a couple underwater scenes that made him think of Alantica, but considering where they lived, it'd be weirder if no one thought to draw sea life. The moon and star pictures were just as easily explained, even if they did make him think of Twilight Town for some reason.

Back in a high corner was a drawing of Riku, Kairi, and himself facing off against a winged dragon. The dragon had Maleficent's frilled head and bowed legs. Sora remembered drawing himself and Kairi, and had watched Riku add his own image, but he had no idea who drew the dragon. It was just there one day. The scene depicted was completely different from what had really happened against Maleficent, of course; in it, Sora shielded Kairi while Riku, armed with a sword, came at the dragon head on.

It reminded Sora of the dreams he kept getting the weeks before the islands fell. The ones that blended between fantasy and reality, where he was always reaching out to Riku and Kairi and never making it to them before the undertow dragged them apart. A dark warning of his destiny, too obscure to be of any use.

Had the same force that sent him those dreams guided his hand in these drawings all those years before? Did it have something to do with the Keyblade?

That time at the Rising Falls, when Radiant Garden was still Hallow Bastion, Riku had said that the Keyblade wasn't meant for Sora, but had originally chosen Riku as it's master. Sora hadn't questioned it at the time -- and it hardly mattered after the blade answered his strength of heart over Riku's -- but if that was true, why had those dreams come to Sora? Why had he drawn Donald and Goofy before ever seeing their faces?

He shook his head, hard.

"Way too many questions," Sora said aloud. He glanced at the door between this world and the Darkness. A brief flicker of golden light on the otherwise featureless surface hinted at the Keyhole concealed within.

"I guess it doesn't matter in the end, does it?" He shrugged his shoulders. Why waste time worrying about mysteries? "What happened, happened! At least we all made it home safe."

He went back to the picture of them fighting the dragon. It was a nice image. The three of them traveling and finding adventure together, just like they'd planned. Him and Riku fighting side-by-side, both protecting Kairi...

_So if Riku liked Kairi too..._

Sora's earlier resolve about telling Kairi his feelings wavered suddenly.

Riku. Riku who was his best friend, who maybe also liked the same girl he did. Who seemed ready to step aside despite those feelings, but wouldn't hurt it him to see Sora and Kairi as a couple? It would be terrible to know that every time he took Kairi on a date, Riku would be left alone and hurting. Sora didn't know if he could stand that, but the only other option was not being more than friends with Kairi. He didn't know if he could do that, either.

Confusion and indecision muddled up his thoughts, made his stomach churn. He pressed his palm against the cold rock face.

In the picture of Sora and Kairi together, where did Riku fit?

* * *

To be continued...


End file.
